I’m Obsessed!!

 

With what you may ask?

 

Food.

 

This past month I blew my budget on food that was not beans and rice. I craved sweet, (not really salty surprisingly), I ate when I was hungry, and when I was not. Every moment not spent working, I wanted to eat, or was eating, or was on my way to get more food to eat. 

 

Basically I became a glutton.

 

Food became an obsession. Not just junk food, but healthy food as well.

 

I just wanted something… anything to be familiar… something to remind me of the comforts of home… Food did the trick. For awhile that it. When the fast food lost its flavour I started craving home cooked meals. Things like mashed potatoes and gravy and roast beef… mmmm. Things that I want, but cannot have.

 

Eating became a replacement to dealing with the issues back home and here on the field. It was strange, but I always knew that food was a comfort for me. 

 

On monday, August 27th Rachel and I started a lemon, cayenne pepper honey water fast. We started the evening on the 26 actually… I woke up that morning shaky from low blood sugar. We walked for a couple hours trying to find the ingredients and then we started. The whole time we were walking around the market, every store, every vendor, every coffee shop… they each called my name, my stomach called out "FEED ME!" I had decided that every time I would think of food I would pray… but it was a constant battle. It was all consuming.

 

Two days of replacing food with God has given me a new perspective on food. It made me realize that I need to bring my issues to God first, and not bury them deep inside myself. I need to know that His plan and His way of doing things is better than my own. It is more than I could ever imagine. And that by shoving things down where I can't feel them anymore it is not glorifying to God. It does not give him glory and it does not let other see what He is doing in me.

 

Who knew that food had so much power over ones emotions. If you let it. It will consume you. Let God consume you, not the love of food.

 

Proverbs 23:2

 

put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.

 

hahaha…. lets not give in again….