I stand in the middle of the crowd thinking, “It’s like I’m a circus attraction.” The people flock to me with curious expressions as if I’m something foreign that they’ve only heard about but never encountered. The stares, the whispers, the giggles, the side glances, the laughs, and even the smiles are kind of alarming to me and I don’t know how I should feel. Happy? Overwhelmed? Afraid? Ashamed?
I’m in Drenas, Kosovo and I traveled here for the day to do outreach to youth. We came with Bibles, devotional calendars, and Christian teen magazines to reach out and offer them Jesus. I was told that we would hand out the literature, talk to some people, and pray for the area. I wasn’t told that I would become bait. Or at least that’s what goes through my mind as the teenagers walk by and do U-turns in order to get near me. They come up shouting, “Hello! How are you?” “Where are you from?” “Can I take a picture with you?” and I take dozens of photos. As I smile and laugh and try to be friendly, I think about why they want to be near me and why they come over. It isn’t because they want to hear about Jesus or meet Christians. It’s because they see a black person and want to discover more. They want to obtain proof that they’ve met a black person and get a picture to put on Facebook. They want to have an experience and be cool.
I know all of this in the back of my head, but I don’t know how to feel about it. Part of me feels used because they only come because they think my blackness is interesting. No one has stated this and no one would ever place me in this position on purpose, but when you’re traveling the world and going to uniform nations where people rarely leave their region, let alone their country, this becomes your reality. You draw a crowd. You’re asked to take pictures. You become interesting. Part of me feels slightly ashamed that I’m different, that I stick out, and that I’m using my race to draw people in and then hand them a Bible. It’s like I’m marketing myself.
But does this have to be a bad thing?
We are all beautifully and wonderfully made and God has a call on our lives and gifts. My skin color is something that I wholly embrace as wonderful, and why should I be ashamed if people are interested in that? I’m different because God made me so and it’s a gift if people notice that and are drawn to it. They are appreciating His creation and God enjoys that. Furthermore, God wants us to stand out and draw people to His light that is in us, even if the initial pull is to how we look. He wants us to use every part of our bodies to glorify Him:
“Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.” (Romans 6:13b, NLT)
So if people are drawn to me because I’m black, but I end up befriending them, loving on them, and sharing Jesus with them, does it matter why they came? No. The only thing that matters is that they leave having encountered a bit of Jesus.
I’m happy to say that at the end of our ministry in Drenas, this was true. In the midst of all the pictures and encounters, I had great conversations with people and handed out 6 Bibles, 2 devotionals, and 4 teen magazines. One girl was even so interested in me that she invited me to coffee and I got to love on her and tell her that we were missionaries here to share our faith.
I left the city that day knowing that my skin color is a fortune that opens doors for me to love on people and introduce them to Jesus. That can never be wrong and shouldn’t be hidden or avoided. I won’t go to a place thinking, “I’ll draw them in with my skin color.”, but if they come up to me because they’re interested in how I look, all the more opportunity to talk about Christ. My race is just another part of the total package that I’m presenting to God to use how He will, and if that means drawing crowds in a small Kosovo city, then here I am Lord, use me as you will.
Photos from our Evangelism in Drenas
