**DISCLAIMER: I know there may be some who are younger reading my blogs. Parents, please read over the blog before allowing your children to do so as there may be some mature content.
When our teams first arrived to Heart of Christ (heartofchristhonduras.org) earlier this month, we were greeted by many of the children who live here. There were babies, toddlers, and some elementary school ages. Most of the them were very excited and playful as we began running around with them and kicking a soccer ball around. The little ones took a while to warm up to us. This included Karolina.
Karolina sat in the corner with a pouty face, looking very skeptical of these twelve new gringas entering her home. You see, Karolina is 2 years old and arrived to the ministry earlier this year. Her mother was mentally ill and her step father is in prison. When she arrived, she had bruises, burns, scratches, scabies and lice. I noticed that she had a lump on her wrist that she would constantly suck on throughout the day. I asked what that was and why she did this and that is when I learned that she was tied up and sexually abused before she came to Heart of Christ. She sucks her wrist because she couldn’t reach her thumb to self sooth herself as a baby. It was so heart breaking to hear her story, and she was not alone. Each child here has their own story. One of my squad mates recounts a few of them in her blog if you would like to learn more: courtneycox.theworldrace.org/post/month-1-honduras
I was in Karolina’s class the first day of ministry. The day began with a bible story in Spanish. Some of the children began sitting in the laps of my squad mates and playing with them, but I mainly observed. To my surprise, little Karolina reached out her arms on the ground towards me like she wanted to come, but the second I reciprocated, she immediately retreated. A few minutes went by and she did the same thing, this time, she got a little closer, but again, immediately retreated. Then she grabbed my wrists and I was so excited. I thought for sure this was it; she was ready to come to me, but no. The second I went to hug her, she went back again. I let her keep playing and I kept my distance. Then, all of a sudden, I saw her coming for me and she gave me the sweetest hug with the most adorable smile on her face. I hugged her back, but it did not last long before she pulled away again. As the day progressed, she got more comfortable with me and our love for each other grew more and more. Whenever she would see me, her face would light up and she would run to me or motion for me to come to her. It was truly amazing to see this transformation from her.
That first day was just the beginning. All month, she has been my little love bug. Whenever she spots me in a crowd or coming down the stairs, she gives the sweetest smile and cannot wait to run to me. It makes my heart so happy every time I see that smile on her face or feel her loving hugs. We have become so familiar with each other that she knows my voice and immediately turns to see where I am. I also know her cry from the other babies and it breaks my heart when she is hurt.
As this relationship has grown throughout the month, I cannot help but think of my relationship with Jesus Christ. It began with me just knowing that He was there, but not being quite sure what that meant. Then, slowly as I tested the waters, I could pray to him every now and then, but then I would go back to my own little world. As my relationship with the Lord progressed, I trusted Him more and began to read my bible more and pray more often so that I could get to know Him better. And then I could see and feel Him moving in my life and I wanted to be loved and comforted by Him. There have been times when Karolina would hurt me in class, but I would be there with open arms, ready for her to come back to me. I imagine that this is a small glimpse of how God feels when we sin against Him; He is just waiting for us to come to him and let Him know what we did wrong. He wants to love us and do so abundantly.
My relationship with Him is still progressing and I am not quite to the point of getting that big smile on my face and running to Him any second I see Him. I have had my moments of running to Him, but it is not yet a perpetual thing. I want it to be instinctual, like Karolina. I want to have that veracious love that she has each time she sees me because I know that the happiness in my heart about Karolina, the Lord has so much more abundantly about me. To see this love in little Karolina’s spirit gives me hope and aspirations of even more growth with my relationship with my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
Prayer Requests and Updates:
- Please pray for continual health for me and my squad. We have had a few people get sick this month and would greatly appreciate prayer that this isn’t continual throughout the year.
- Please pray for unity and growth in my team. We are getting to know each other and building some great relationships. We are striving for deeper friendships with a balance of laughter and vulnerability.
- On Thursday, our squad is taking a 10-hour bus ride to Guatemala. Please pray for safety as we travel.
- My next financial deadline is at the end of November, just a month away. I am $606 away from meeting this deadline and only $4,567 from being fully funded. God has used each and every
one of you to show his faithfulness and provision for this trip. I am still in awe of how much has been provided for already!
Thank you for your continual support through prayer and financially! It means so much to me to have each of you along with me on this journey!
