I am an introvert. This is no great surprise to anyone, I know. But as time goes by, I’m learning that I’m not as much as an introvert as I let myself believe.
At work, I crave time alone with a friend or two…or just time alone. But most of this past week has been almost torturous. My last day at work was a week ago and minus a little nephew/SIL time and my goodbye party, I have been mostly alone. It’s been awful.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve let the devil slip in and overwhelm me with sadness and every other emotion under the sun. Instead of leaning on Jesus, I’ve let these feeling isolate me and expand my waistline. And in the isolation, there’s been room for whispers of “you’re alone”, “you’re not enough….and you never will be” and my personal favorite- “you’re not strong enough to do this race- you’ll crumble with depression”. And I have been depressed over the past week. I’ve been constantly exhausted, emotionally eating, and isolating like the world has the plague. And all because I keep forgetting 1 thing.
It’s not about me.
It’s about Jesus.
Yes, it may hurt to say goodbye, but that doesn’t matter because Jesus has a plan that is better than I could ever wish for. But most importantly:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
(Hebrews 12:1-3)
If Jesus was able to endure the cross for the joy set before Him (umm, that would be us) then how can I possibly complain about leaving friends and family for 11 short months? Jesus had the perspective that I lost sight of. So to those of you that have patiently listened to my complaining and talked me of a little ledges- THANK YOU.
And thank you to everyone that came to my goodbye party, texted, or called me this week. You have reminded me that I’m not alone and that Jesus is ALWAYS with me. That He will NEVER leave me or forsake me. You have reminded me where my strength comes from. You guys have reminded me how greatly I am loved.
So here is my New Years’ resolution:
To be joyfully obedient to Jesus.
To trust His unfailing faithfulness.
And to lean on Jesus in joyful times and growing times.
So, what are some of y’alls resolutions? What do you want your life and heart to like in the coming year?
I want to give huge shout out of praise- I am at over 60% of my final fundraising goal! That means I only have about $500 to raise by 4/1/14 and just under $6,000 away from my final fundraising goal! Thank you to everyone that has invested in me and what God’s doing! I have been completely overwhelmed with your faithfulness! I pray that God blesses that generosity and faithfulness in your finances, relationships, health, and every other part of your lives!
