So…the past few weeks have been rough at work. Or in PC terms: challenging. I've been so frustrated and angry. Frustrated that we're behind schedule. Angry at people for being late, having attitudes, etc. I kept praying that God would help me overcome the anger and frustration. I kept my Pandora station on the Christian music hoping by some magic that it would change my heart.
Then late last week, I was in a room with the doctor and a patient. A patient that had been late. And hadn't finished her paperwork when I called her back. And she had a ton of questions/problems. I was at the height of frustration. I remember looking at her and thinking, "I am so angry with this woman for throwing off our schedule." I had intense feelings of hatred for her. For being late. For having problems. And I realized how completely INSANE it was.
I forgot.
I forgot that she was human and imperfect.
I forgot that we all have rough days, weeks, months.
I forgot that we all have our problems.
But most importantly, I forgot that Jesus loves and died for her too.
(Praise Jesus that He's more patient and understanding with me!)
It took a few days for all this to sink in. I've been avoiding writing this post because I didn't want to show how ugly and sinful my heart can be. I'm a perfectionist- in some areas at least (don't ask me about my room :-p). I want things to run on time, go smoothly, and be efficient. I LOVE that. But I HATE HATE HATE that I'm so bothered by the little imperfections. Thankfully, God is still working on me. And believe me, He's got His work cut out for Him.
God wants no part of that anger and hatred (unless it's directed at sin). He calls us to love one another. Somewhere in the hustle & bustle of working and trying to keep on schedule, I forgot my real job. I am a trained Certified Medical Assistant. But that's my occupation. An occupation I love, but still just an occupation. My REAL job is to follow Jesus and love others. I forget that so easily. I let my identity and my purpose rest in external things instead of eternal things. But the funny thing is that if I do my REAL job of following Jesus and really loving others, I will be successful. Yes, work will still be crazy. Yes, people will still show up 30 (45, 60, etc) minutes late & still expect to be seen. Yes, people will not be patient and understanding. No, it will not always be easy. BUT, I will be doing life right and I will be living in a way that honors God.
So that's what's been marinating here. What about you? Can you relate?
