It’s pretty much no secret I’ve been awol in the communications world since a month before the end of the Race. A lot of this is largely due to the fact that in month 11, my computer killed itself. By that time, we were very close to being finished, so I figured that when I got home, I’d retroactively write about all that I saw and did and experienced. However, that hasn’t occured until now.
I won’t lie. A lot of why I haven’t written has been spiritual. Since coming home, I haven’t been in the best place with God. I missed my extremely tight community of teammates and squadmates who really understood everything about me. I missed ministering to those in tangible need of a Savior. I missed having my entire day devoted to God. I missed praying for an hour or more each morning. I missed the feeling of God walking beside me in every given moment. I missed everything.
Try as I might, I couldn’t bring myself to write about these things. I was completely befuddled, in every aspect of my spirit, heart, mind, and will. I wanted so much to do what God told me, but after the first few weeks here, everything in me seemed to wither. All those amazing works God did in me seemed a product of my environment, of the World Race, even though I KNEW they were not.
Before the end of the Race, I seemed sure about my next steps. When I got home, I never consciously ruled those out, I just stopped thinking about them. I realized everyone around me expected me to get a job and become a contributing member of functional society.
Everything in me screamed against that on the Race. After being home mere weeks, I was filling out every job application I could find.
And I’m not fabricating this when I say that every door slammed in my face. Opportunities that were open for me before I even graduated college were shut. I got so desperate I filled out an application for unloading boxes once a week at Hobby Lobby. Nothing.
It occured to me, then, that there was no way all these opportunities were just slamming for no reason. I began to pray, asking God to direct me even though I felt like I hadn’t heard His voice clearly since coming home. Immediately, all my Bible passages, all the sermons I heard and book titles I read were pointing towards one thing: Georgia.
As I said, my last few months of the Race, I was sure I was going to be going to Gainesville, Georgia, to join the staff of Adventures in Missions and The World Race full-time. I knew it in my heart when I was closest to God. When I came home, I let it drift, thinking I could ultimately decide what I wanted to do.
But God wasn’t letting me have it.
So, a little over a week ago, after having been pummelled into near-submission by a sermon on community, radical obedience, and following God, I told my mom, “Tomorrow, I’m going to call Georgia.”
Simply, I didn’t.
Three days after I said that, Georgia called me. The conversation went a lot like this:
“Shannon, when are you going to move up here? God wants you to.”
So, after fighting it for over two months, I conceded.
And you know what? That way I felt on the Race, the peace, joy, love, laughter, harmony of spirit?
Yeah. I got it.
I’m beginning to realize that the closer you get to God, that any step you take from His presence, from your uttermost obedience to Him only results in being a little less than you were before. Less joyful. Less peaceful. Less who He created you to be.
I’m honest when I say that, even though I’ve enjoyed family, friends, and comforts for the last few months, I was miserable inside. I’m ready to quit dwelling in that and get to the business of being radically obedient to Him.
So, in a few weeks, I’m moving to Gainesville, Georgia. I’ll be spending my time doing the behind-the-scenes stuff that makes the World Race operatable for those on the field. I’ll be living in community. I’ll be growing in leadership. I’ll be cultivating my own vision for where in the world God wants me to go and what in the world He wants me to do, and I’ll be working on making that a reality. But first, I’m pouring back into the organization that poured into me, being that person for countless of missionaries, the one who makes the logistics and processes possible for those that are serving.
The one reason I fought this so hard was because I didn’t want to have to go back on support again. It always somehow feels like it’s all on your shoulders to make it happen. But that’s a lie, it really never was in the first place. God miraculously provided for me before. I guess the comfort in that was due to the fact that my support spanned 11 months. It’s a lot harder to go on support for years, for the rest of your unknown future.
But God owns all the money in the world, and He owns the hearts of those that would give to His work.
I hope that you will partner with me in prayer and support for this next adventure of my life. Since I was 15 years old, I knew God was calling me to this, to full-time ministry in missionary living. It’s just now becoming a concrete reality for an indefinite amount of time.
So, if you can give, please give. Anything will help. I’m looking at raising somewhere in the neighborhood of $3,000 by this time next month. You think $5 won’t help, but anything helps.
But if you will pray, I ask that even more. For by prayer, anything may be given from the hand of God to us. So please, pray for me.
And don’t worry, my hiatus from writing is over. I’m going to be writing more about my last days on the field as well as my life on the field of Gainsville, Georgia. I hope you will still journey with me as I learn, step by step, what God wants to teach me in this ridiculously beautiful life.
