I think I’m legitimately starting to lose my mind!
I was just talking to myself for about 5 minutes… Part of the dialogue included me going into my tent, zipping myself in, discovering a bug and going “Oh heck no, this is a bug free zone!… Die… Die…. AHA! DEAD… Who’s next?!” That was out loud… with no one around me… I’m starting to lose it.
I’ve also realized today that the race has aged my body at least 10 years. I can’t sit on the floor, I can’t sit cross legged, I can’t sleep on the floor, I can’t digest food like I used to, I have to go to the bathroom much more than I used to, often times needing to RUN there, I need many more hours of sleep than I used to, I have no choice and I have to sleep and sit on the floor because furniture is few and far between and this month no furniture exists whatsoever, so I’m having constant back, neck, and knee pain, my teeth aren’t as white, and my skin is a mess because of overexposure to sunlight and underexposure to clean water, a lufa, a mani, and a pedi…
It’s month 10. I know my blog has been pretty silent lately and I really wanted to write a beautiful blog about how great our ministry is this month and all the exciting things we are doing here in Tagucigalpa, Honduras, but right now, this is all I got. I'm sorry for all of you who were looking for something inspiring and uplifting…
We live on a compound that used to be a notorious dance club and can NEVER leave except for ministry, which is when all 60 to 70 of us (40 racers, 10 passporters, and 10 to 20 people with the ministry) pile into a school bus, get taken to our ministry location (prisons, garbage dumps, rehabilitation centers, colonies, etc.) to do our thing for the day and then we pile back into the school bus and go back to the compound.
The only other time we leave is to go to the mall for about 3 hours every Friday, where a mad dash ensues to find internet, which always results in frustration because the internet is never good, and then after finally giving up on it our time to run quick errands around the mall is so short that you end up leaving without the things you needed and feeling robbed of what was supposed to be our one bit of “freedom” for the week.
A beautiful blog will come from this month, I promise.
The ministry this month is incredible. Some of the most eye opening things I’ve seen all year. The opportunities to serve and make a difference in the lives of the people here are endless. The calling on our contact’s life is undeniable and the fruit from his labor is inspiring. I’ve already had some experiences that I will keep with me forever. But right now, I just have to be honest and tell you, the race does not get easier and the comforts of home have never seemed more appealing.
I apologize if this blog wasn’t what you were hoping to read, but it is just as important for the world to know about this side of ministry too. God IS in it all, and there is definitely a lot to be learned from my sleeping pad, inside my tent, with an aching body and a homesick heart.
