I'm a big fan of the "If You Really Knew Me…" game, which is as simple as it sounds. You just start a sentence with 'if you really knew me' and finish it with something only someone who REALLY knew you could know. For example: If you really knew me you would know that bananas make my ears itch (hahaha for real).
When I said "yes" to the World Race, I had about 8 months to go until the trip begins. In the last 4 months, my life has completely changed. And in another 4 months my life will completely change once again. Things have changed so much that I feel compelled to fill you in so you can "really know me"…
1) If you really knew me you would know that a little over 4 months ago I was accepted into the World Race…. HELLO life change, nice to meet you, we will become very familiar with each other over the next 19 months. (8 months till launch + 11 months on the field) This was a ridiculously huge answer to prayer. God gave me one of the deepest desires of my heart, for real, since I was like 12 or younger it has been my true desire to live radically for Christ. Check out what I wrote in my 7th grade devotional book: When asked what God's plans for me might be I wrote "I know that when I grow up my life will be devoted to Him." When asked what education my #1 career choice requires I simply wrote "Education in Christ." Hahaha SO glad that I am still following through with that plan. Praise God!
2) If you really knew me you would know that on New Years Eve, so about 4 months ago, instead of having a celebration for the New Year, I was having what Oswald Chambers called a "White Funeral."
"No one experiences complete sanctification without going through a “white funeral”-the burial of the old life. If there has never been this crucial moment of change through death, sanctification will never be more than an elusive dream. There must be a “white funeral,” a death with only one resurrection-a resurrection into the life of Jesus Christ. Nothing can defeat a life like this. It has oneness with God for only one purpose— to be a witness for Him…. It will not happen by striving, but by yielding to death. It is dying— being “baptized into His death” (Romans 6:3)…."
On that night, it became clear that I really, truely was yielding to death. It became clear that on even deeper levels than I had ever known before, my life was not my own. It was a painful New Years Eve, a very sobering time for me, but it is marked as the moment that proved I was prepared for the life change that was to come.
WOWwOWW
3) If you really knew me you would know that when I agreed to the World Race 4 months ago I was enthusiastically agreeing to being completely single for the next 19+ months of my life… and I was PUMPED. I had been single for about 3 years at this point, but for the first time in my life I was utterly content and not only content, but JOYFUL about how ridiculously single I was. There was complete freedom in this area of my life. The ONLY thing on my mind was my desire to live wrecklessly committed to Jesus Christ.
4) If you really knew me you would know that exactly 4 months ago today I met Brad in a rock climbing gym 🙂. God had something crazy up His sleeve and He was just waiting for me to drop the things I was holding on to so He could place what HE actually wanted to give me into my hands. When we realized that God had more than a friendship planned for us, I shared the whole story with the wonderful Kim Hillebrand, on staff with the World Race, and received the affirmation I needed to allow the friendship to move forward into a relationship completely surrendered to God. Someday maybe I'll write a blog on the CRAZY things God has done to bring Brad and I together, but not today 🙂
5) If you really knew me you would know that the Lord has brought a lot of healing and restoration to some extremely important parts of my life in the last 4 months.
6) If you really knew me you would know that the Lord has brought some pretty ridiculous situations into my life regarding the poor (whether it be poor in spirit or poor financially) in the last 4 months. These situations have allowed me to feel even more called to reaching out to others for Jesus than ever before.
7) If you really knew me you would know that 4 months ago I started my second and final semester living in the FUEL House with 8 other girls and partnering with the 9 other guys, and TODAY is the day it all ends, my bags are packed and everything… These girls and our ministry we embarked on together has left an eternal impact on my heart. I will never be the same after this experience. I would never have anticipated the challenges we all went through, but I also could never have imagined the JOY we got to experience together. We will never know the effect our work had on the Kingdom, we will never know the effect we had on the individuals we encountered, but we did pioneer something for our ministry of Fuel. We were the first, the guinea pigs, and that was difficult but incredibly exciting. I pray that the legacy we started will live on for years and years to come and that this ministry will continue to grow and be blessed and a Jesus Movement will rise up on Illinois State's campus. I have tears welling up in my eyes at the reality that this chapter is coming to a close. I have poured my heart and soul into this ministry for 4 years as it poured it's heart and soul into me and hundreds of others. But I have so much peace and joy and gratitude for what it did, what it is doing, and what I trust it will do in the future. To those of you from Fuel who are reading this now: I am praying for you and will continue to while I am away. I can't wait to hear the stories of what you all do while I'm gone. I love you and thank you for all the ways you have blessed me and helped shape the person I am today. I can't help but "thank God everytime I remember you" (Phil. 1:3).
Wow! So God did all that in 4 months!! Thank you Lord, I just want to PRAISE You after reflecting on this time! 🙂 I cannot wait to share what all God does in the next 4 months before I leave! I'll keep ya posted 😉
