Recent events at my alma mater have caused consternation, anger, national media attention, hurt, and betrayal. I do not want to bring the political, legal, or moral issues to bear with this post. I mention this only to shed light on my reasons for these thoughts on the following issues: respect and my role as a young adult.
I say young adult, although this can have various meanings. “Young adult” can be applied to any range of young people. It is the best combination that I can think of to express what I intend. I am an “adult” by almost any definition, sadly not rental car companies though. I am, however, still “young,” very young. I lack a significant maturity, experience, intelligence, and wisdom.
However, I am in the midst of a changing role in the world. I am still my parents’ child, yet I am no longer a child. I am still young and owe respect and deference to my elders. Some of the issues I face are trivial, such as “do I call you “Mr. Pope,” like my parents taught me, or “Bob,” like you requested? In this situation, I have just decided to never address to these individuals by their names, if possible. When I refer to them, I just stumble around awkwardly. Other issues I face are more serious. I have been well-educated, if I may say so. I have strong opinions and disagree strongly with many of the stances that others, often those older than me, have taken. My stubbornness and convictions push me towards confrontation, or in calmer frames of mind, mere conversation or debate. As I recognize my inferiority to my interlocutors, I also remember I Timothy 4:12 (“Let no one despise our youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity”). This tension creates internal conflict for me, leading to my next consideration – respect.
How do I honor and respect my parents as an adult? Who deserves or is owed respect? How do I respect those older than me and those in authority over me? When I disagree with the actions, words, or opinions of my elders, how do I address that? In my mind, those in authority and those older than deserve respect because of their position. I may disagree with their actions, but I must still respect them and their actions. When someone in authority does something that is morally wrong, that does not automatically allow me to respond in disrespect. (To be clear, I would not obey instructions given to me by an authority figure if it would violate God’s laws. That changes the issue.) Regardless of right or wrong actions on the part of authority, I need to respond in love and with respect. This issue is particularly difficult for me considering my strong opinions on almost any subject. If I believe I am I right, I will fight tooth and nail to defend my position. As frustrating as it is for me to watch others pursue their own path, in my mind the wrong path, I realize that I must offer my opinions, attempt to persuade them of a different approach, and wait to see the outcome. Additionally, what if I am wrong? These individuals have more experience and wisdom than I do. Regardless, I cannot justify circumventing instructions or arguing with my elders. I owe them respect. This still does not resolve all of the issues in my mind, but it does serve as a foundation for my interactions.
I am torn. I am enjoying this phase of my life as a “young adult,” but part of me cannot wait to be an “old adult.” I look forward to having the experience and wisdom that can help me sort through these problems of life. That’s the irony of it though, I can only gain that experience through what I am doing now.
