It’s hard. Things never go as planned- I have to keep learning this. We think we know what’s best for ourselves but we often don’t- it’s just what we want. At least that’s what often happens with me. I plan ahead thinking “ah well God wouldn’t disagree with this. It’s a good thing”, really basing it off of what I want and not even asking God what He thinks first. And it’s useless. And all it does is hurt you and maybe even others. It’s like the quote: “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans”. It’s a battle you can’t win- God will get His way. It’s just a matter of how much you want to struggle against it before you relent to letting Him lead. But it’s silly to think we can ever mess up God’s plans because we just aren’t big enough to do that- if we mess up, He just uses that for His glory and our good anyways.
And it’s confusing. Once you give in to His plans and His wants it doesn’t always make sense. Why should it be this hard? How could He make me give up the things I love most? And it doesn’t make sense to others either. But I guess that’s when you know that you are in the middle of God’s plans because He never said it would be easy and He doesn’t want what we are doing to look normal to everyone else. And yet He never leaves you hanging. He decides to sneak in little ways to cheer you up, to comfort and assure you that He is with you through it all.
And it’s easier said than done. It’s easy to say “ I’ve just gotta keep trusting God” and “I know that everything will work out”, putting on the front that you are strong and confident, yet inside you are hurt and you are scared. I think most of us who are going on the World Race have had to let go of something/things whether big or small that is/are extremely hard to let go of.
And although it is really rough at the time and you go through a whirlwind of emotions, it’s when you center yourself on Jesus and the bigger picture of the mission of God when nothing else matters. You don’t need clarity or answers. You feel a sense of peace but also of excitement in that you get to be a part of something absolutely incredible.
Having a nice job that pays well, nice car, staying up with the latest clothing trends, fame, success, good health, getting married to your dream guy/girl and raising a family, living in a nice/comfortable house, going to nice schools to get the best education, always having more than enough food, having a stable savings account, vacation time, shopping, parties… these are all things that seem to make us happy.
Experiencing the overwhelming power of God’s grace and love, singing worship songs from the depth of your soul, being completely freed from your sin and all that you have done, telling those who are most outcasted and rejected that they are loved, seeing the naked clothed, the hungry fed, those who are orphaned and alone be given a Father who loves them and a family that cares, seeing those who are considered the worst of sinners become saints, the sick being healed, feeling a complete peace and joy within your heart that cannot be contained, seeing others baptized and dedicating their lives to the Lord for the first time, having nothing yet having everything in Christ…..this is true happiness. This is LIFE.
And some may consider you impractical, unrealistic, a dreamer but I say keep dreaming. I pray that God will help me to dream bigger and to give me vision and hope greater than seems possible because He is a bigger God and has greater ideas than we can even think of, so why put up any boundaries? He is boundless. And this is worth dedicated your life to. It’s worth giving up everything for, even if it seems crazy and ridiculous. Because He gave us everything first.
