…In the midst of brokenness we discover more things about ourselves…
Februrary 23rd arrived and we were on our way to Hua Hin, Thailand for our Month 5 Debrief. The two full days of fellowship, prayer, and vision casting that our leadership team spent together before “S” Squad arrived was an amazing pre-cursor to what was to come. I knew God had huge things in store for Debrief but at that point I did not have any idea HOW VALUABLE Debrief would prove to be.
From a logistics standpoint, Scotty and I were go-go-go from early morning to late at night during Debrief, and we cherished every minute we were able to spend with AIM staff, Coaches, and our squad. Mornings consisted of breakfast meetings followed by a morning teaching session. From lunch we flowed directly into Team Debriefs- typically 3 an afternoon for two hours each. We ate dinner on the run as we walked into our evening teaching sessions.
“O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1
For me, the key to walking out of brokenness was discovered during Debrief by recognizing who I was. I was going to walk out of Debrief and walk into a place where I was going to need courage, live in faith, and walk in confidence of WHO I AM. My February 28th journal entry reads:
This weekend of Debrief has been absolutely mind blowing! I found my joy. I found my longing for more of the Word and more time with God. And I FOUND MY HEART FOR THIS SQUAD!!! I cannot stop smiling. 🙂 I opened my mouth and began finding my voice. I released my grip on the walls that had been surrounding my heart. I stopped trying to “do” things to break down the walls and I simply began to walk in WHO God made me. I gave up control.God I do not take for granted the investment that you made in me. I don’t want to go back to the explainable. I want to reach new, unfound, unreached territory. I don’t want to go back to the mundane. I will walk in AUTHORITY!
For the last two weeks I have felt like an entirely new person. More confident in who I am, more confident in my role as part of this squad, and more confident in God’s future plans for my life. I have spent several moments this month LAUGHING at how broken I felt last month. But you know what, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Because I had a period of brokenness, I am able to appreciate and revel in the joy I now feel. Thank you God! If this is what the light at the end of the tunnel looks like then I will walk through a tunnel any time! 🙂
“And you are in Him, made full and having come to fullness of life [in Christ you too are filled with the Godhead–Father, Son and Holy Spirit–and reach full spiritual stature]. And He is the Head of all rule and authority [of every angelic principality and power].” Colossians 2:10
