Not too long ago I met an 8 year old boy named Emma. He is a beautiful gift from God and such a precious young man. Emma has both mental and physical disabilities.
During my time in Lira, Uganda I really got to know much of the community (Amazing people, by the way). When I shared with them my love for working with children with special needs they told me about Emma and asked if I would like to go meet him. Naturally, I was excited.
After a long morning (There is no rushing time in Africa, its all at a leisurely pace) one of the guys walked me to Emma’s house. When we arrived Emma was still sleeping but I had the opportunity to meet his mom. The people in Africa are so welcoming, so we talked for a few minutes and she asked me to come back after lunch to see him. Let me tell you, that was a long few hours until lunch. My patience was tested but it was just because I was so excited.
After lunch, we walked back to see Emma. As we walked up I could see him laying down on some blankets on the ground. You could not hide the fact that he was physically disabled. His legs and feet were not only skin and bone, but the position they were in would be uncomfortable to any other human. You could see the frailness of his body from a distance away. After making some more introductions to those I did not meet in the morning, we sat down at an area under a tree. After a few short minutes I went to go sit with Emma on the ground.
When I sat down with him, I saw how his eyes were scanning the wall behind his head. His breathing was labored and he had lots of drool coming out of his mouth. At this point all I could think about was how this boy doesn’t have the help he could be getting, if he were in America. My heart sank thinking about this. But then he turned his head to look at me and the brightest open mouth grin spread across his face. I have seen kids light up many times before but this young man’s spirit lifted, which in turn lifted mine. At that moment I fell in love because, although Emma has many struggles, God gave him such pure joy and happiness. The saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” certainly applies. Emma might not be able to do or say anything but he still has a big personality.
I sat with him and saw how his eyes tracked numerous amounts of different things on the wall behind him and movements of people walking around. At that point I realized that there is more to this little man than meets the eye. I sat there talking to him, asking him what he was looking at, making guesses about what he sees. I must have guessed something right because I said something and his eyes darted to me and once again his face split into a big grin. His way of saying “YES!!! You understand me.” Emma’s mom noticed it too and asked how I was able to communicate with him. My answer to her was the same I have said to many of my students parents in the past “He cant talk but he still has so much to say, we just have change our understanding of what it means to communicate.” That young boy has a story to tell. As do many kids and adults with disabilities, we just have to have the patience to listen to their story. Sometimes that story is not in words, but in actions, in emotions, in talents, and its always in the eyes, just as in Emma’s.
I sat with Emma and his adorable little sister for a long time. Talking to them, tickling them and singing to them (the benefits of being a preschool teacher is that you have lots of kids songs on your iphone) . His joy brought me joy. It’s a great reminder that even though we have struggles in our lives, we don’t have to dwell on them. Find the joy in life, and let that lead you. God wants us to be happy and healthy, not miserable. We have the choice to strive to become more like Him and enjoy all life has to offer us, or lead an unhappy life. Sometimes we even have to change what our definition of life is, after all its not our definition, its His. God has a plan for us, and it’s a good plan, but you have to be willing and ready to follow the path He lays before us.
I applaud Emma’s mom so much. It is not easy taking care of a child with his level of special needs, especially in such a poverty stricken country. But not once did she complain, not even when to just to sit him up she had to pop his hip bone back into place, not when she had to mash up the right concoction of food and sit with him for 45 minutes on the hard ground to get some food and tea into him, not when she told me of his story and the steps they took just to keep him alive.
After complications during birth, Emma died but God said it was not his time to go; doctors revived him but the damage was already done. Emma’s mom told me that he used to get sick all the time. They worried if he would live through this sickness or that sickness. They took some classes on nutrition and (I don’t remember the word for the study of plants, but they learned the benefits of which plants can help the human body). They changed Emma’s diet and his health has been holding strong. Mom says he may get sick once a year at most.
I loved sitting and learning about Emma and his family. But as I sat there all I could think was, what if Emma was born in America. Would mom have had better medical care during birth, would Emma be in school, what type of chair would Emma have to help get him around (instead of the option of laying on the floor outside, or sitting up if someone holds him). Would he be getting physical therapy to help him with his gross motor skills, Speech and Language therapy to help him communicate, Occupational therapy to help with life skills.
For children with special needs in America there is hope, for kids here in Africa who are born with special needs, there’s nothing. It’s a completely different world here in Uganda. The people here are strong, resourceful and they amaze me but I have come to find out that those with special needs do not receive much, if any, help. 95% of the time they don’t even receive any schooling. Tell a parent in America that their child cant go to school because he/she is different and you have a lawsuit on your hands. That’s not the case here.
I wish there was more I could do for this happy, joyful little man. I’m not sure how to describe how my heart melted and broke all at the same time, but that’s exactly what it did. I am so grateful that God brought me to Uganda and to the doorstep of little Emma. Its eye opening to see how children with special needs are treated in different countries.
**Emma sitting with his beautiful mom and adorable sister at lunch
