I’m in the process of finding a job, which has been much more challenging than I had originally envisioned. After a relaxing Christmas break in Georgia, it hit me full force that my bank account balance was declining and I still had no income, all the while bills and such still needed to be paid. A few days after I arrived back in Phoenix I was given a job as a substitute teacher. I was extremely excited and relieved until I was told the job would not start until the middle of February. That left me with over a month of expenses and very little money. So I began applying at every place within walking distance: Wal-mart, Blockbuster, Pizza Hut, etc.
After a week of nothing panning out I began to feel very rejected and worrisome about where the money for my daily expenses was going to come from. I was in need of some encouragement, not just kind words saying everything would work out, but financial encouragement. I needed to be reassured that God is indeed the ultimate provider. I told this to God and then proceeded to let Him know that if there could be a few new donations in my AIM account I would definitely feel His provision. But like numerous times before, God didn’t really like me telling him how to do things.
Confident in my request I checked my AIM account and to my dismay found nothing new. I went to bed feeling anxious and worried about everything finance related and wishing that God would just fulfill my wish. However, God had everything planned out and didn’t need me to tell Him how to do His job.
Thursday morning my sister woke me up by waving the phone in my face telling me it was a call from the preschool I used to work for. It turns out they needed a sub teacher that day and wanted to know if I was available. I hopped out of bed, got ready, and was there within the half hour. It was nice to be back with my former students, but the best part was when I realized that it was a complete God thing. It may not have been a donation to my account, but it was money in my pocket. I thanked God for providing for me, even when it wasn’t the way I expected. Little did I know, He wasn’t quite done yet.
The following day one of my coworkers offered to take me out to dinner. I once again thanked God for providing for me. I was beginning to feel ridiculous for my moment of doubt. I’ve grown up a missionary kid and have seen God provide time and time again, I know better than to worry about provisions. Yet, just to make sure I had gotten the message loud and clear God continued to provide. The next morning my friend, Amber, and her mother, Felicia, took me out to breakfast. And just like the night before, I was feeling stupid for ever having questioned God’s provisions, but humbly I thanked Him again.
Feeling adequately reminded of God’s provisions, I was surprised when He went on to provide me with something I hadn’t expected at all…shoes. At the end of our meal, Amber asked if I wanted to go the Bass Pro Shop to get some shoes for my trip. I said that sounded fine, but in my head I was reviewing my account balance trying to figure out how much I could spend on shoes at the moment. After concluding that my shoe budget was very minimal I asked her how much she thought shoes would cost. Amber immediately told me not to worry about it, her and her mother wanted to help support my trip by buying me a good pair of hiking shoes. I was a bit taken aback and asked whether she was sure, but she insisted.
We entered the store and headed to the shoe department. In true Shanda fashion, I immediately started scanning prices and thinking ‘Wow, these are expensive’. Felicia noticed my eyes wandering to the prices instead of the actual shoes and told me to ignore them. It took my awhile to get passed the numbers jumping out at me, but after trying numerous shoes on, I decided on the perfect pair…a durable, water proof, extremely supportive pair of hiking boots.
For those of you who know me, you won’t be surprised to know that the shoes I’m currently wearing are flip flops that I got for a $1 at Payless. I think the most expensive pair of shoes I have ever bought were $60 boots to prepare for the harsh Montreal winters. I have a hard time spending money on clothes and shoes. So much so, that even if someone had handed me a thousand dollars and said buy good hiking shoes, I still would have bought a $30 pair of shoes that most likely would have fallen apart somewhere in the middle of Mozambique. However, thanks to the generosity of friends, God has provided a great pair of shoes that I would have never bought myself and that are bound to get me through my trek around the world and beyond.
Jehovah-Jireh means ‘The Lord will provide’. I know this, believe this, trust this, have seen this over and over, and once again I’ve been reminded of it’s validity. When I foolishly forget His past previsions, God gently comes along side me and reminds me that I am his child and He will always provide for my needs, whether it’s money to pay for bills, a meal or even a pair of shoes, He’s got it all covered.
Matthew 6:28-30 says “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”
This trip requires all of us to look to God for provisions. I pray that we truly see Him as our Jehovah-Jireh instead of being Christians of little faith. Let us remember His faithful provisions of the past and hold on to those as reminders when times get tough.
