The word “intentional” is somewhat of a buzz word with World Racers. It’s a word we use pretty much all the time, and I’ve only just realized it. “You should all be intentional with one another,” “I don’t feel like you’re being intentional,” or one of my favorites “We really need to try hard to be intentional right now.”
I could go on. It’s almost used as much as the word “blessed” is used in the South. Which is all too often.
I love the term intentionality. I feel like it’s been a sort of theme with me. I love being intentional with people, helping them grow when they need it. So don’t get me wrong, the term is great. Where my hang ups lie are not with the term, but rather how we use it. Because when we use the word or term it’s usually just that, a word or term. Some syllables, a bunch of consonants, and some vowels. Where I feel like we struggle as a whole (squad, faith, church.. You can insert your own body of believers here) is that this term is very rarely followed by any kind of action. This is how I would characterize Month 1 for the Boundless Freedom Fighters. All talk, no action.
I’ve been told by every single former or current racer that community is both hard and amazing. That feedback is great and simultaneously terrible. That living with the same people day in and day out is horrible and beautiful. All of these paradoxes left me a little confused when I set out for Launch. But I get it now. Community of this kind is equal parts the greatest thing for your faith ever and incredibly draining. You’re constantly trying to grow yourself but also grow as a team, but also make sure you aren’t infringing on anyone but also being sure you’re always positive while also working hard, and finally making completely sure you’re intentional. It’s exhausting.
Month 1 was rough for me and community. I didn’t really understand my team. This coupled with my logical personality sometimes left my wondering how on Earth this was ever going to work. I felt distant and apathetic. Feedback was tough. Sometimes we’d pull our punches to preserve feelings and sometimes we’d just let each other have it. Neither of which are healthy ways to do feedback. I never really imagined how difficult it would be. I can’t lie, I was usually frustrated. And it showed. Towards the end of the month we started making great strides with one another, we really started clicking. Then suddenly month 1 was over and we were headed to Nicaragua.
Upon arriving in CICRIN I got the overwhelming feeling that something was off. We had heard from several sources that there was a lot of spiritual warfare here (something I’ve come to realize may have been a bit overplayed) and that it was going to be hard. The word I got from the Lord the very first night we were here was “War.” I thought this referred to the spiritual warfare. And it very well may still, but I now have a different theory. Having come halfway through this month, I think God was actually telling me that we were really going to fight for each other this month. Really going to fight to bond. To fight to grow together. To fight to challenge each other. To fight to love each other better than before.
Lemme tell ya, it hasn’t been a cake walk. But each and every day I see more of our intentionality (there’s that “I word” again). We’ve had tough feedback, numerous challenges, and more tension than you’d know what to do with. But it’s working. And it’s awesome.
I recently described our team has having come over our first big mountain together. We’ve climbed to a resting point and are now looking up to the next peak, gearing up for the challenge. We’re closer than we ever have been. More honest, more loving, more caring, more patient. More intentional. We’ve finally quit saying the “I word,” and finally started living it. It’s been like a war at times. A war that isn’t nearly over.
It would be absolutely insane for me to declare that we’ve come through our hardest bits as a team. That we’re fine now. The rest of the Race is gonna be easy.
Pure insanity.
But we’re growing, and that’s what counts for now. We truly love each other, and that means a lot. We’re somewhere between friends and family on the relationship scale. It’s a funny type of friendship we have, but it’s a fantastic one. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
I continually remember the blog I wrote after Training Camp. My Pledge seemed a lot less real back then. I was quite serious about it. Still am. But it seemed so much easier to declare when I was at home alone, nowhere near my team. Now I see how important it is. And exactly what I got myself into.
We watched all three Lord of the Rings movies on our travel days from Guatemala, so I have a hard time not picturing Gandalf killing an Orc every time I say the word “War.” But we’re at war right now. Not against anyone in particular, but we’re at war for each other. Fighting a bloody battle against apathy, sadness, anger, and loneliness. And so far, we’re winning. We are the Boundless Freedom Fighters, after all.
We’re a scrappy bunch.
Fighting the good fight,
Seth
