This has been quite the week. Between the packing, the goodbyes, and the "lasts" it's proven to be kinda crazy. Tonight is my last night in Mississippi, and one of my last nights in the States for a while. Having said all my goodbyes over the past week I knew there was one more thing I needed to do before I left… I needed to throw the discus.
Two things help relax and clear my head better than anything else. Those two things are blogging and throwing my discus. I knew that I wouldn't be happy or fully ok with leaving without giving the old disk a few more throws. So for about an hour and a half tonight, I threw.
It was muddy. It was dark (making it really hard to find my completely black disk after the throw). The circle I usually throw in was trashed, making me throw from an asphalt parking lot. The conditions weren't optimal. The very first thing I did was a warm-up throw where you toss the discus as high into the air as you can. This was gonna be it. My first throw of my last set of throws. I had high hopes for this toss. I figured where it would land, I judged how high it would go. It would be perfect.
That was until I threw it. It went farther ahead of me than intended. Before rolling on its side towards a hill. Then rolling down that hill. A steep hill. Before it rolled into a group of reeds that came up to my shoulders, where I could not see it because it's black as night. Needless to say, my perfect warm up throw did not go as planned.
It hit me then and there that this utter failure of a throw was a perfect way to describe this coming year. I've spent a lot of time planning. Packing. Thinking and deciding. Figuring out what I would do when I got somewhere. How I would react to things. Making expectations. But I have no more control over what this crazy year will look like than I did over that throw. God is going to take this year and make it go farther than I think it can. Maybe even roll faster than I want it to. And sometimes I may even end up in some thick, messy situations where all I am is confused and lost. The thing to remember is that God is in control. When He throws us into crazy situations, he knows exactly where we're going to land.
This used to scare me. In fact at Training Camp this kind of faith was difficult for me. I'm a planner. I like to prepare myself for any situation the best I can. That's simply not how this year is going to go. But that's ok. I know it's ok because I know this is where I am supposed to be.
Throwing the discus gives me a lot of time to think, and I realized something tonight. I've seen a lot of Racer's posts lately that say how sad they are to leave their friends behind, or how tough it is to say goodbye. To leave everything they know and everyone they love. This hasn't been the case for me. Sure, I'm gonna miss everyone. I'm gonna miss them something fierce. The thing is I realized why this past month has been so tough for me, and why exactly the Race is going to be so good for me. I've done all I can do here.
Hattiesburg has nothing left for me. I grew up here. I was educated here. I learned how to live out my faith here. I learned how to use my faith to affect my community here. God has used me here. God has used others to teach me things here. I've done the good work here. But now… Now it's time to go. It's time to take what I've learned elsewhere. It's time to take what I've learned from God and the amazing people He has placed in my life and affect the rest of the world. To grow even further. Staying in Hattiesburg would be the equivalent of spinning my wheels. My calling is not here. Where will I finally land? What will I do when I get back? Who knows. Right now, I'm about to travel the world and grow deeper and stronger in my faith than I ever have. That's what I'm looking forward to. That's where I'm headed.
To my friends and family. I love you all. To death. Seriously, y'all are fantastic. I will miss you so much! Stay in touch through Skype, email, Viber, Tango, or any other of the millions of social media applications.
To my Southern Miss family, I have a challenge. It could be a tough one, so get ready. I want you to get outside your comfort zones. I want you to do something with your time at Southern. I know all of you are amazing and do so much already, but I'm not talking about another extracurricular activity. Listen to what God has for you. Live intentionally. Do something for Christ that makes you uncomfortable. Lead a Bible study. Disciple somebody. Have the courage to ask for help. You're some of the most awesome people I've ever met. I know that by the time I get back Southern will be a completely different campus that has a strong drive for Christ. But the only ones that are gonna do that are you guys. It starts with you. Don't let this be just one more year, or one step closer to graduation. Make this year mean something. Make it unforgettable. Set a fire to that campus (not literally, please do not literally do that) and change it forever.
This is my last blog post in the United States of America. The next you hear from me I'll be in Guatemala having the time of my life. So please keep in touch with me! Subscribe to my blog! Read up on what I'm doing and then go out and do your own thing! I promise you won't regret it.
And with that….
…. I'll see you in a year!!
And so the journey begins,
Seth
P.S. I'll try my hardest to learn how to take photos better. It's high up on my list.
