Yesterday I drove home from the middle of nowhere North Georgia. I wasn't doing any sightseeing or visiting, but instead was at Training Camp for the Race. I had done enough blog-stalking to know how crazy this week would be. I went in trying to be as receptive as possible. To 40 something people that will be my new family, the ridiculous conditions we'd be exposed to, the challenges we'd face, and especially what my Eternal Father had planned for me.
I could sit here and list out everything that happened day by day, but it would both be a 7 part blog and way too revealing for future racers. The Lord did indeed hit me with a bunch, but I'll stick to the title of this post. The ways he Wrecked me, Healed me, Taught me, and has begun to Use me. This was my motto for myself during Training Camp (TC) and what I think will be my personal motto for the Race overall.
Wreck Me
God wrecked me about things this week. The first night we had an awesome worship service. We had barely sung the first song when I just started bawling uncontrollably. In front of those same 40 people I barely knew I just let it go. Wave upon wave of thankfulness washed over me. I am so grateful for the plan God has for me. The fact that he brought me to this muggy mountain in North Georgia to worship and learn and grow with all of the wonderful people of W squad. The fact that I have amazing supporters. An amazing family. Amazing friends. An amazing Father in heaven. That held true throughout the week. God spoke to me as He never had, and I finally kept my head up long enough to listen. God used people to speak to me and tell me how proud He is of me. He not only loves me with depths unfathomable, but He is proud of who I am and will be. The joy and peace that gives me is difficult to convey. Just know, the Lord wrecked me this week. And I doubt He's done.
Heal Me
That crazy God. He healed me for things I never knew I needed healing for. He showed me people I need to forgive in my life. People I never thought I needed to! He showed me that no matter what kind of sin I have in my life that He loves me anyway. It doesn't matter what I do. He's got me. I am not inferior because of my past. Going into TC I thought that there was no way I could stack up to some of the people on my squad. They're super Christians! How on Earth could I measure up? God showed me that each and every single one of us is perfect to Him. All of our walks with Christ are different and amazing in their own way. For lack of a better way to say it… Oh how He loves us.
Teach Me
God taught me a lot this week. From ways to relate to people to a much better understanding of the Holy Spirit. Going into TC I wanted to learn more about the spiritual world. I had grown up and experienced things that led me to think that the spiritual world was a bit taboo. Something you smirk and roll your eyes at. I couldn't have been more wrong. God allowed me to be in a place where I could see the Holy Spirit in action. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. God works in incredibly mysterious ways (some more mysterious than others), but every one of His ways are amazing. I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am that He let me experience that. I feel so much closer to my Father than I ever have because of it. I of course learned a ton more than this (like that running in Chacos is a pretty terrible idea), but like I said… 7 blogs.
Use Me
One of the most eagerly anticipated parts of TC is being separated into different teams within your main squad. I love every one of the ridiculous people in W Squad, but I know for a fact that the team I'm in is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Team Boundless Freedom Fighters (BFFs or Biffles, if you will) is going to light a fire for God in the world. I have a feeling of belonging and comfort that I didn't think I would ever feel on the Race. (Go ahead and check em out real fast! Christina, Kate, Claire, Ray, Daphnee, and Jessie.) They're my new family and I love em to death. Not only that but we have been blessed to the core to have two outstanding squad leaders (World Race alumni who will lead the whole squad for the first 5 months). Amanda and Laura are the two most perfect squad leaders in the world. They also are excellent at giving rib-cracking hugs. That's just how much they love us. But that's not all. God gave me a peace about leadership for the Race. Going into TC I thought I wanted to be a team leader. However, it eventually became such a distraction for me that I asked God that He would not let being leader make or break my Race. I didn't want the reason I loved my team and my experience to be because I was a team leader or the reason I hated everything because I wasn't one. God said "Aight," and I received this overwhelming peace about it. Soon Ray was raised to be BFF's leader and I could not ask for a better fit. He's going to keep our team straight, strong, and more wonderful than I ever could. In short, I am absolutely happy and content. Probably even a little bit giddy.
The next day my squad leaders asked me and another squad-mate (Kyle) if we would be W Squad's Logistical Coordinators. We would be handling travel for the whole squad as well as some expenses. It would be a huge undertaking. It would be hard. It would be daunting sometimes. I agreed before I even really thought about it. If you know me, you know logistics is my jam. I am STOKED to serve my squad in this way. I can think of nothing better that could utilize my God-given talents than co-handling logistics. I'm telling you, that God has a plan for you and you almost always won't figure out what it is before he puts it in your lap. I was given peace about what I thought I wanted so He could put where I really needed to be.
I'm excited. I'm excited for the Race. I'm excited for the countries we visit. I'm excited for the people I get to visit them with. I'm excited for the ways God is going to continue to Wreck, Heal, Teach, and Use me. I'm excited for the ways God is going to impact my squad. I'm just stinking excited. It doesn't end with TC. That one crazy week in Georgia was only the beginning.
Keep W Squad in your prayers. Times like this is when the Devil likes to get creative, and I'm not a fan of his particular brand of creativity. Pray that deadlines be met, that we stay strong, and that we get out into the world and change it in ways never before seen.
This was a long post, but it was a long week. I hope that all reading this are having a fan-freaking-tastic Sunday night. Until my next post!!
