This is something I've wanted to post about for a while, but had no idea how to say it. I think I've figured it out.
I think…. I think I'm finally ready for this trip. "Why the sudden peace?" you may ask. Let me tell you what brought me to this point. It has a lot to do with how I used to be such a "man."
By all the stereotypical and cultural standards, I'm a man. Like, a manly man. I'm a bigger dude who can lift decent amounts of weight, can handle pain pretty well, played with sharks and alligators, enjoy eating tons upon tons of beef, etc. I'm a dude. And what's the one thing dudes don't do? Cry. We just don't cry. I could count on one hand the amount of times I cried in my life. It wasn't a pride thing, I just never really had reasons to. That was until recently, when I'm pretty sure God started getting me with the things I read and saw.
At first I thought I was just perpetually exhausted. Why else would this keep happening? I'd watch a video from a racer, read a blog, or read a book (specifically Love Does and The Wild of God) and suddenly start tearing up. This was particularly problematic at work where it's just a ton of dudes. They would've killed me. I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. It's just a book! It's just a blog! It's just a friggin video! Dry your eyes, wimp! Go chop some wood or fight a bear, your testosterone is low!
It hit me a few days ago. I'm incredibly excited. I would get into these blogs, books, videos and just understand how very important this journey is. In The Wild of God, the author talks about all of his experiences while he was on the Race. They would just break me. The things he did, or more the people he got to meet and help through Christ. I mean, geez. It's amazing. I get to do that. The videos of Racers in the countries I'm going to playing with overjoyed children or ministering to the old and weary. I get to do that. The blogs of Racers talking about all of the things God has done through them or what God has done to them. It just gets me. Every time. I'm ready to get out into this crazy world and let God use me however the heck he sees fit. Good and bad times. (I say that now from the comfort of my favorite coffee shop, but still).
It isn't just the excitement that incites these emotions of pure joy. It's that I'm incredibly thankful. Thankful that God wanted me to head out on this trip. Thankful that I get to interact with all of these people. Thankful that I get to go to some of the most beautiful places in the world. Thankful that He has His hand on my life. Thankful that other people believe in this trip so much that they'd HELP PAY FOR IT. Every time I see those videos of someone playing tag with a Cambodian child or praying fervent prayers over an old, misshapen South African woman I just can't help but shed a few tears of thankfulness.
I think joining W Squad was the final piece of the puzzle. I've never been more itching to go. I've never been more at peace about the funds (which I think my parents sometimes confuse for outright laziness). I just feel great about everything.
The other night I was on the Mississippi Gulf Coast where I got to meet one of my new squad mates as we scanned the beaches looking for dead stingrays so we could take their barbs (this makes a lot more sense if you know me the slightest bit). We never found any, but after we went our separate ways I found some on my own and then had some one on one time with God on the beach at 1 AM. I prayed for God to use me. Break me. Remake me. Speak to me. Do whatever the heck He wants with me. I thanked Him for everything He has done for me and everything He is going to do for me. I asked Him for help with the funds. To help my squad with the funds. To pull me out of the pit that's filled with my own sinful desires and actions. To make me His vessel to reach the world. A day later I made the unfortunate mistake of staying awake until the sun rose. So on the back deck of my house, on one hazy and humid morning I prayed the same thing again. Break me, use me, teach me, heal me. He seemed to say "Ok, let's do it." Which can be kinda scary when you have no idea what He has in store. But it will be fine, it always is.
Training camp is in exactly one week. I'm ready to meet my W Squad friends. I'm ready to be taught about what I'm going to do over the coming year. I'm ready for God to teach me what I need to learn.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's do this thing.
Wanna join me on this journey? Pray for me. Pray for W squad overall. Heck, pray for everybody who is and will be going on the World Race. It certainly couldn't hurt! If you want to contribute more I still need quite a bit of money to head out on this journey, and would love for you to partner with me financially! Click the "Support Me" tab on the left hand side of this page or you could send a check in the mail to avoid the online processing fee. Send all checks to:
Adventures in Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
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