Team Nessa went for a walk today. We were headed into town, to listen and pray and learn more of the culture. I read from the “Warrior’s Journal” this morning, day 3, week 8, where Seth talks about learning the culture of the area, listening to people, understanding who we are interacting with. Gary said this morning that we need to listen, that we don’t know anything. So as we headed out today, I was hoping to find a museum or someone to teach us.
We had just had some interesting teaching. Bob Waig spoke, and I took spotty notes. Then we had some time where we prayed and were supposed to go to a person with what God brought to mind. I got this picture in my head of a field of flowers, about shoulder height, with a broken down rail fence. The flowers were some type of black center with yellow all around. Almost like a sunflower or a black eye susan. I also realized who this was for. So, I said, what the heck? This is weird stuff, why wouldn’t I see if it meant anything? So I went to her, and told her about it, and she had tears in her eyes as she said it made sense. That the flowers could represent the people she is called to, and the fence and size of the field could represent the feeling she gets of being overwhelmed by the task. So, that was pretty cool. It is all about encouraging, and building people up. Breathing life into someone, flesh on the dry bones of their dreams. God loves us- don’t we get it? He puts the desires in our hearts, the dreams of a future, and wants us to pursue them! God uses people to direct us and encourage us. God wants us to take these risks! We will only risk as big as we believe God’s love is for us!
After I sat down, Bob came and said to me, that he had a vision of my getting slapped. He said he wanted to do it, but didn’t know me good enough. He was worried about my reaction, but I would have let him. I don’t want to get hit, but if God thinks I need to be hit, then at least don’t knock the taste out of my mouth. Andrew Shearman is known for slapping people, he slapped me, but didn’t knock me too hard. Gary is always touching, I hope they are actually blessing each time, because this is what I want to be a part of. Bob said that at some point God will slap me, that something will come up from deep inside me. That is interesting, because to me it could mean two things. Bob also said it would happen without anyone else urging me on. One of those things could be speaking in tongues. It just makes sense to me now, thank you Ron and Chuck, Neil and Ginny, and Mark Fee. You pointed me, and this week has been really the next step I would say, in having that prayer language. The second would be, it seems everyone thinks I am too quiet. Twice now I have been told to let out a shout, and we had a teaching on the shout of a/the King.
About this shouting, I am not sure why it is required, but both times I knew I had to. It is powerful. For so long I have bit my tongue, tried to sit still. To not be too much. Only on the football field was I allowed to be full speed, to hit people as hard as I possibly could, and too make as much noise as I wanted to. To scream and be excited. To be me. Now these guys want that from me here, and it feels so foreign. Gary compared this to the football team he coaches, says when we get this God stuff, it is like a kid who realizes he really can hit! I get it! Making a pop feels awesome, and what I have stepped into is the spiritual equivalent.
Then Gary spoke again, some leadership training, and then team covenant and consequences for breaking it. I got angry. After years of basically doing what I felt like, now I had to be accountable? I needed to go for a walk.
