As our departure date draws closer, my emotions get weirder and weirder. I have never really understood my emotions, I am an intense person with intense emotions and try to detach myself from them to protect myself.
I constantly deal with self doubt, doubts about what I truly believe, about who I am, or who I am pretending to be. I often struggle with religion, institutions of any kind. I struggle with church (duh, have you read my blogs?).
But even as I have lived a life of self failure and seeing God’s grace (my wife, for one), I keep thinking grace will run out. That somehow I will be the one to come to the end of God’s love. But God just keeps showing up.
Most of my life, I have had friendships, and good friends. Often I wonder if I am a friend to my friends. Now with saying good byes, with the going away parties, I am once again amazed at how God has blessed me with incredible people in every area of my life.
So I want to thank everyone who I have rubbed shoulders with through the past few years. You have all been amazing in shaping my life, and I will miss you all.
A major place where my faith has grown is in our support. I would boldly state that if this is where God is leading, then He would provide. But in my heart there is always that doubt. But supporters have come from all around. I hope every single one of you who have shown support financially, spiritually, emotionally, know how much you have meant in this process.
I pray that God will rain down blessings on you and your families as you take part in this insane adventure, and that your faith will be strengthened as you see God at work in your lives and the lives of those on the world race.
