I have sat at the computer reading other people’s blogs for an hour. Before that I drank a bellyfull of coffee, took some ibuprofen and went for a hike/waddle. While I am out with Sequioa, enjoying nature and fresh air, running until my knees and back ache, then stretching and walking until the spasms go away, my head fills with ideas I want to blog about.
Each idea becomes a runaway train, and I hop from idea to idea, from thoughts that make me happy, to thoughts that fire me up. Rewinding and replaying past failures and past successes, past learning experiences, future fears, what I have heard and seen in the cries and lives of others. A burr under my saddle that I need to get rid of, or just plain vent. Jokes I want to tell, people I want to make fun of.
Ideas, little seeds I want to plant in the heads of others, blow in the wind. Standards I want to set, to try to live up to. I want to thank people who have supported this whole foolish idea, I want to encourage people who I know are struggling. I want to argue for situations that I know people are captivated by. I just want to see myself think. I want people to give nice comments, I want people to enjoy reading this. I want to piss people off and make them laugh. Like Borat. I want to push buttons, shatter our dopy sleepy lives.
Then I sit down to the computer and go blank. Nothing comes out of my fingertips. All the trains meet in one fantastic collision, and I sit and poke through the wreckage of my thoughts, looking to redeem one that would be worth the time, one that can be resuscitated, one that will take root and effect someones life. An idea that will alter who a person is. A seed that will blossom into something beautiful, that will leave a legacy, improve a life.
I think it is worth the risk, even if I have to spend extra time sorting the train wreck.
