Lately I have been struggling with some comparison issues. These types of struggles are hard for me because I don't really struggle in this ways very often; so when I do, I don't really know how to work through it.
I didn't realize that I was struggling in this way until I realized that God is doing really awesome things in the lives of all of my teammates, but I don't feel like He is doing anything exceptional in my own life. This is hard for me because I feel as though I have opened myself up to God in new ways, in deeper ways, in ways that I have never been open to Him before; but now I feel like He is being so silent, and I can't hear Him, when really that is all that I want. I want to hear Him more.
So in His absence I have been filling my imagination with Peter Pan, and I love it!! It's a much darker story than what Disney leads us to believe, but it is very entertaining none-the-less. Now I am not really one to look at everything with God goggles on. I don't see a beautiful depiction of God's love and sacrifice for us in every movie and book that I enjoy. It's just not the way my mind works. But today God used Peter Pan, and the idea of Neverland, to express His love to my soul; and I receive it, with hands WIDE open!
Today was our day off and we went on an adventure, for sure! We went to the Dyanovo Monastery and it was beautiful! Not so much the monastery, but the Neverland like forest all around it!
We started our hike out by crossing a bridge overtop the river rapids.
And then we came across a pretty sweet waterfall.
After that we made our way through a dark, scary cave that is no longer dark, or scary.
Once we decided that we were done with that we made our way up the mountain, on a really cool staircase.
As we made our way up the mountain and through the woods I kept coming to this one conclusion…"THIS IS JUST LIKE NEVERLAND!!"
It was in one of these many moments that it hit me…right now I am loving reading Peter Pan, and right now God is telling me:
"Hey, I know you think that I am not talking to you right now, but look what I am doing!! You constantly find yourself in your imagination taking care of lost boys, fighting pirates, and never growing up in a crazy awesome forest….look where you are right now! Look at your reality…I love you, and I want your dreams to come true; I can even make your imagination come to life. You may think that I am not speaking to you, but perhaps you should try listening a little harder, because I am speaking!"
Even though I am not one of those people that sees some crazy awesome depiction of God's love for me in every book and movie that I enjoy, I am so glad that God used Peter Pan to tell me that He loves me. Now I can join in on the "God's doing big things in my heart" party with the rest of my team, even though my big things look totally different than their big things!
Until next time…
