So it is officially November 14, 2012, and for some of you that date doesn't really strike a chord, but for me it strikes a very painful one. You see, on this day, three years ago, my whole world came crumbling to the ground. Everything that I knew about life was no more. My dad, my knight in shining armor, the villian to many arguments, my hero, my rolemodel, the one that I called when nobody else could give me the right advice or just make me smile took his very last breath here on this Earth.
And the truth is that that day was such a beautiful day in so many ways. The weather was warm, the sky was bright blue with huge clouds, my family was together, and in our pain and sorrow we were able to rejoice the fact that our dad finally made it home. His pain was gone, he could get out of bed, laugh and tell jokes, and most importantly he was able to stand face to face with the creator of every universe and worship Him.
That day will forever be engrained into my soul. The way things happened. The way that I felt, or didn't feel. The way that I was sort of lost, but totally grounded all at the same time. Those things will never go away, but the thing I remember and choose to hold closest is the promis that God gave me on that morning. A promise that I really didn't understand, and that I am just now beginning to scratch the surface of.
Romans 8:18-For I consider that the sufferings of this present time do not compare to the glory that is to be revealed to us.(NASB)
The truth is that I don't even remember opening my Bible to this page, but there it was. At the moment I didn't really know what exactly it meant for me, besides the great hope that it caused me to have. But now it has been three years, and when I look back over that span of time I see such incredible things that have taken place, that probably never would have been the same had my dad not died on that day.
I look back to his funeral and I see my little brother standing before hundreds of people sharing the Gospel with such passion and humility; while people that my dad spent years witnessing to finally got it. They finally understood, and they stood up to show the world that they got it, that they believed in Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
I look at my brother, sister and myself and see how we each have had to figure out who we are, and what we stand for, as individuals. Not just what we stand for, as Dudley's kids. We had to learn to step out on our own faith, and not on his.
I look and I see so much more than I did three years ago, but there is probably so much more that I have no idea about. Perhaps some day God will reveal those things to me, but maybe he will not. Who knows? But either way, I can honestly say, with my whole heart, that I absolutely never would have chosen these circumstances for my life, but I am so incredibly thankful that God chose me to have them. I know that there is a lot of molding that God wants to do with me, but I know that I am much closer to the woman that He wants me to be today than I was 3 very short, but very long years ago.
