7 weeks.
7 weeks I’ve been home from The World Race.
Weeeeiiirdddd.
I’m still not really sure how to answer the question, “How was it?” Because a zillion memories: good, hard, ugly, beautiful, and all the adjectives you could think of, run through my mind, so usually I just end up saying “It was insane”.
But if only you could see some of the pictures that flash through my mind when I’m asked how The World Race was…
And tears are filling my eyes writing this (I think I’ve become more emotional over the past year shoooot), because I so wish I could just take all the pictures that flash through my mind and put it on a projector for you to watch, because I don’t think I will ever be able to fully answer the question, “How was it?”
And I think that’s okay.
I’m glad I can’t really fully explain the past 11 months and all that The Lord did in and through the people we encountered.
And I think “processing” through it is just something that happens naturally – that it won’t happen in one sitting, life has to keep going – and life will keep going, just like it always has. And I think the best way to process all the memories is to keep going and let it happen as it should.
It will probably be a lifetime of processing through it all. These past 7 weeks, there has been days where it felt like it didn’t even happen but there have also been the days I will think of something that happened on The Race: something that I randomly remember, or a friendship I made, or someone coming to know Jesus, and all of it just comes flooding back and I’m either in a puddle of tears sitting in my car by myself or smiling at the goodness and greatness of it all (Yes, even the goodness and greatness of the hardest, most difficult, parts of the past year I am learning to smile at).
I wouldn’t have traded this past year for anything: nada, zip, zero. Even the hardest days.
Thank you to everyone for simply listening to me (seriously!!!) – whether I was sparked to share a long, drawn out story with you that I remembered as we talked, or I could hardly speak all the words you may have wanted to hear because I just couldn’t figure out the right way to say it. Thank you for it all. Getting to talk to all of you has been such a way for me to think through it all – and I think that will be happening for the rest of life, really.
And thank you for sharing YOUR stories, ahhhh yes. Cool thing is knowing that while sometimes a “radical, insane” life as a Christian is more elevated in the Christian world (when this should not be) – I pray that a life in “regular, American” life is not viewed as “lesser”. And that was what made me so excited to hear about your stories, because we were serving the same Jesus this past year (and all the years to come on this short life on earth!!!) and the stories will continue on, with whatever we are doing.
***Side note: For all that have asked what I am doing now: well I am finishing school, people!!!! (Yes, yes it is true). I’m on the 10-year plan for my undergrad but I will get there someday LOL. Back in November (while in Macedonia), I wrote in my prayer journal for a way to go back to school without having to take out even more student loans, yet a place where I could transfer without falling more behind with transfer of credits – and with the help of a friend who told me about a school that could possibly do just that in Colorado – 9 months later, I got to highlight as ANSWERED in my prayer journal that prayer I prayed back in Macedonia because He provided just that!!! (When He didn’t necessarily have to!!! Miracles, I tell you, I’m still in shock). I’m on the road to graduation wahooooo !!!!
So as life keeps going, and as quick as it already has since being back, I will continue to forever cherish and process this past year.
I love you all, so, so much. Whether you are near, far, wherever you may be – you have loved me so well – and I am undeserving of it all.
[[Last side note I wanted to share, and I promise I’m done:]] As I was sitting and talking with one of my best friends a couple weeks ago in the one and only, Belton, Texas, and we were talking about who we were before college, talking about life in general – I had a thought that has come to me before many times, but just left me in awe again:
“Who I used to be, shouldn’t point to where I am right now, but yet I am here. And this is true for all of us”.
I shouldn’t be here, but I am because of The Lord’s grace and relentless pursuit: that’s it.
14 year old me would think I was nuts for believing there was a God and actually living a life for Him.
But He was always chasing me and loving me and has brought me through it all.
Also, I don’t know about y’all – but Heaven is going to be a partyyyy and I’m excited to FOREVER be in place with no more tears, no more hurting, no pain, no suffering. But until then, I pray that while I’m still living and breathing on this earth – that I would be His hands and feet in this temporary place – that I could help Him in bringing people Home to Himself, whether that be here or halfway across the world: so that one day we can all party and celebrate in Heaven and look back on our tiny time on earth and say with all the confidence in the world that all the tears, all the hurting, all the pain and all the suffering was worth being with our Heavenly Father for eternity, a Heavenly Father who loves us more than we could ever know.
It’s worth it, people, it truly is.
