The tears won't stop.
My head won't stop pounding.
The world around me is crashing.
I cannot believe I'm here.
I cannot believe my favorite person in the entire world is gone.
Yet, through it all, God is good.
Friday was my momma's birthday, God laid it on my heart to go into town and find away to call her. The Skype call took foever to connect. Finally, dad answered and I asked what he was doing. He told me that he was setting up a playpen for my nephew (look at my previous blog). What? My sister is in town? When I asked to speak to mom, he said she wasn't there.
What?
I know she's in the hospital, she doesn't go anywhere without you. I demanded that he give me details. He couldn't give me details, so I hung up the phone and called the hospital. The receptionist traced where my mom was and got her on the line.
Tears flowed. "Momma?" Nothing. "Momma?" (Mumbles) Heartbroken, I hung up.
I called the hopsital back to talk to a nurse to figure out what was going on.
Through a broken skype call, a wonderful, caring nurse was able to tell me everything.
Momma had been in the ICU for almost a week, fighting an infection and blood clot. They took her out of ICU the day I called, hopeful that she was doing better.
The day they took her out of ICU was the day my sister came to see her. My sister was able to have a decent conversation with her and love on her.
The next morning my mom passed away in her sleep from a brain bleed. I have been told her passing was peaceful and she wasn't in any pain, for that I am thankful.
God's timing is perfect even when we don't understand. My little sister got to have a nice chat with mom right after she left the ICU. God knew I couldn't handle seeing my momma in the state she was in. I'm excited for the day when I'll see her completely healthy.
Momma, God will let you help paint the sky, don't be holding the pretty sunsets from me. You always wanted to paint, now you can paint with any color you want.
I'll miss laying on your bed talking up a storm.
I'll miss calling you anytime of the day.
I'll miss your laugh.
I'll miss your nicknames for me.
I already miss everything about you momma, but I know you are completely whole and healthy dancing with Jesus.
Your pumpkin head loves you so much and I'm so thankful God chose you to be my momma.
I'm headed home, not knowing what to expect, but I do know that God has gone before and knows exactly what needs to be done.
