Last month, I spent a week fasting from something different each day. Here is part one of that week!
09/16/2013—Fasting from asking questions
Today, I fasted from asking questions. Do you know just how many times you ask questions each day? Each huh? Or what? When you don’t hear something or need clarification is a question. There are questions asked to get your needs met, to find out more about other people, to understand what needs to be done in a certain situation. Needless to say, I failed. A lot. But, I also succeeded. I realized how hard it is to communicate your needs when questions are taken out of the equation. I discovered just how hard it is to get to know someone or to see how someone is doing without being able to lead with questions (and bringing up a topic rarely gets you on the track you were hoping for!). I found out that a lot of questions that I had wanted to ask today were worthless. They would have led to superficial, meaningless conversations. They would have been used in order to gain unnecessary information. I learned that getting your needs met are just as easy to get by stating them as asking for them.
09/17/2013—Fasting from talking about myself
Easy to do one on one; not so easy in larger groups. This morning, I picked Cherissa as the target for my inability to talk about myself and the result in my chance to get to know a new teammate was definitely ordained by God. Within the 2+ hours of clearing the land at our worksite, I got to know a lot about Cherissa. And, because of my fast from questions yesterday, my questions today were nothing but intentional. We started out deep (for which I apologized…sorry, I wasn’t sorry!) and continued on that path for the remainder of the day. I found out about her home life, the things she has struggled with in the past and the things that she is currently struggling with. I spoke life into her without using examples from my own life, but by purely speaking what God was telling me and the things that I noticed specifically about her situation. Throughout the day, I found out so much more about the people around me because instead of thinking of the story I could tell about a similar experience I had, I listened intently to what other people had to share about their own lives. I heard stories of past dreams and visions and how those have changed into realities or new dreams now. I heard about families and past relationships and college adventures and crummy jobs. Surface level conversations went deeper because people were allowed to freely talk without being interrupted by another surface level topic. That is what happens when we stop talking about ourselves and take the time to listen instead. Conversations go places you never imagined they would go, simply (or maybe not so simply) by letting them continue down the path that they were intended to go.
09/18/2013—Fasting from time
In a world filled with schedules, appointments and agendas, fasting from time seemed fitting. Today was different from our typical day in Thailand. Chelsea and I ventured out sometime in the morning to head into Chiang Mai to hang out and chat with a few of our squad leaders. With Chelsea off with them, I spent the morning with no agenda, hanging out with Emily and Estie. We went to the temple and chatted with the Monks there. Not knowing the time, and not having a schedule for the day felt really freeing. Emily and Estie had to be back to the café by a certain time, but it felt great not having to be a part of that. I just followed their lead and left when they said we needed to leave in order to get back by the time lunch was served. I spent the next few hours chatting with the Peck’s and then Chelsea and I headed out to the market for dinner and shopping. I had to rely on Chelsea to make sure we left in time to catch a ride home. Ultimately this day was freeing and relaxing, not having to be in charge of keeping the time. I often found myself looking at my wrist throughout the day and a lot of times it happened in situations where I was chatting with someone or doing something that I didn’t particularly want to be doing. The most frustrating part of fasting from time happened when I went for a run. Usually, I have my watch on, and therefore I am the one who keeps track of how long we have been running and how much time we have left. With no watch on, this was left up to Chelsea. After what felt like at least 30 minutes of running (which was probably only 5-10 minutes because we were only running for 30 minutes total), I began to get frustrated. I realized that time often motivates and influences my actions. By knowing that we only have 10 minutes left to run, I can think, “Oh, it’s only 10 more minutes. This is nothing!” and keep going strong, motivated by the fact that we are almost done running. Instead, by having no concept of time, I found myself thinking that we were NEVER going to be done running! This got me thinking: Why is my life (and probably so many other people’s lives) so motivated by time? I eat meals based on time, not based on if my body is giving off signals that I am hungry. I decide how hard I am going to work based on how close to quitting time I am; often stopping a few minutes early, because why start a new project when we are going to be done in a few minutes anyway, right? Somewhere in my scattered brain I believe that conversations with people only merit a certain amount of time and after that, I begin looking at my watch wondering how much longer we will chat for and if there are other things I should be doing instead. My world is limited by time. Just one day of aimlessly (and numerously) looking at the spot on my wrist where my watch previously inhabited wasn’t enough to teach me lessons about time that I needed to learn so when I woke up Thursday with a new day of fasting, I kept my watch off.
09/19/2013—Fasting from making decisions
Today didn’t turn out as bad as I thought it might. While I did end up eating a lunch I wouldn’t have chosen (delicious fried rice instead of delicious pad thai…real bummer huh?!) and drinking green tea with my meal (I only made it through half a bottle before giving it away.), there wasn’t much to a day without decisions (at least on the outside). Do you have any idea how many decisions you make without really thinking about them on a daily basis?! (Take a day fasting from decision making and consciously thinking about decisions and you might realize what I am talking about…or read my next comments.) What should I wear today? Which things should I put into my bag to bring with me to the temple? How much money should I get out of the ATM? Should I eat with my fork or spoon today? Do I want ice in my glass? How many pieces? Just how much spicy should I put on my rice to make my lips tingle and still manage to eat this whole plate? Should I go left down this isle at the market or start over there on the right? Should I buy these T-shirts or wait to find them for a lower price? Will I even find them again? I think you get the point! These are just a few of the thoughts that occurred between waking up and lunch time today. All of them decisions I had to make and yet none of them actually needing to be voiced. Wow! I also realized today how much other people want you to make decisions for them. I couldn’t tell you how many times people asked me what they should get to eat or drink or where we should go next.
