On various nights, I love to fall asleep to a good sermon. As of late, I have been drawn to speakers like Todd White, Heidi Baker, or Beth Moore. They usually keep me up until all hours of the night because their understanding of God's love is so encouraging! Tonight I was led to listen to Bob Hazlett from the Power and Love Conference in Klamath Falls (props to Andy Frasure for sending me the mp3's)!
In the first part of His sermon, (5A) Bob's talking about how society and culture today have been brought up with the famous song, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family." Love's been defined as a mutual agreement & Barney's in a way been known as a great prophet because of this.
Growing up, I had a ton of confidence issues with myself, and struggled with attaining affirmation of love from others, whether it be with a boyfriend, family member, or even just close friend. If I didn't feel a mutual agreement from the other party, my mind would begin to race!! Does he really love me? Am I good enough for him? What am I doing wrong? Am I not funny enough? Why don't they ever call me to hang out? I was so drawn by the fact that if only someone loved me, cared about me, wanted to be around me, I'd be golden…….. Ha ha ha man was I lost! For the longest time I lived my life trying to be healed from those experiences where I was rejected & did not get affirmation in return. I was living a life like Barney told me to: that the only way I'd be in a "happy family," or a good relationship, reciprocal love needed to take place.
As Hazlett said, Barney's love is not biblical love. Heavenly love is "For God so loved the world… period." God defined love for us from the beginning as redemptive, not reciprocal.
Bob reminded me that there was never a time when I wasn't loved, when I wasn't embraced by my Father. I was made in the foundation, the literal building of the world, to be with Him & in Him for all eternity. I was programmed with love, and therefore am love, because I was made to be with the one who defined love from the beginning. I had always missed the fact that we don't need to be told we are loved, or affirmed we are loved by others: we need to know that we already are.
Haha! He is so good. The love of the Father compels us!! That's why from birth, we yearn for love. We yearn to make an identity for ourselves in school, to be known, to be smart, to be well-liked, to be cared for, to be nurtured — all because we were created with love & to be loved. All we have to do is know that we are loved & flee from the enemies schemes that we need affirmation from others. We've already been affirmed, we've been bought & paid for. Jesus already did that!! He loves us so much!!
So why do we constantly need affection & affirmation from others? We don't!! I'm done, I know my identity. No one is capable of hurting my feelings anymore. I am no longer at the disposal of a human's judgements. My God is well pleased with me, and that is enough. BOOM! Jesus.
