Have you ever wondered why you can’t just want something normal? I have. A million times. So many of my friends are happily settled in their careers as nurses or teachers. Many of them are pursuing post graduate education so they’ll land brilliant jobs. Many of them are married to wonderful men or women, and some of them have already made beautiful babies and are learning firsthand how exciting and terrifying parenting can be.
I live in a tent inside a church in Botswana.
Sometimes this kingdom journey is everything you’d anticipate and more. I expected 11 months of straight tent camping and showering less than the entire population of Asheville (which, for those of you who do not live/go to school there, is very little). There are definitely smells and bathrooms I would love to wipe from my memory, but on the whole I cannot complain. I have been blessed beyond measure by people who have very little, but give all they have to serve us and host us. Sometimes that looks like killing a sheep from the ones they’ve raised themselves for years to have a braai for us, and sometimes it looks like giving us an extra blanket to combat the RIDICULOUS cold of Botswana (this country’s winter is bipolar– it’s 80+ degrees during the day, and at night it gets well down below freezing).
We met with the elders of the Dutch Reformed Church of Bokspits, Botswana when we first arrived. They spoke of their hearts for their community and what they felt the issues were, in general, that could be met with the gospel to cause a permanent change for the better. They spoke of a need for sustainable leadership in which the community is not reliant on constant help from outsiders (i.e. world racers), but instead is self sufficient in terms of creating and managing the church’s involvement in the community.
Honestly the problems are much the same in America– alcoholism among teens, teenage pregnancy and co-habitation, marijuana abuse, lack of male involvement in the church or family settings, etc.. Many of the teens who are uninvolved look at the teens who do go to church with disdain because they feel as though the churchgoers believe they’re “better than” the non-churchgoers.
I sat in my chair and listened to the elders lament the lack of gospel in their community, and I realized that wanting something more, something better in the best way possible, is a common desire. I’m pretty sure everyone has a gnawing in the depth of their heart that taunts them with feelings of inadequacy and lack of purpose or direction. I’m sure at one point or another all people feel as though there has to be more to life than chasing temporary happinesses.
My team is currently reading through Ecclesiastes and it seems that Solomon was constantly frustrated with how meaningless life seems when one doesn’t find fulfillment. He had more wisdom than any man, and when he pursued all of the desires of the flesh, he found that they brought him no comfort to combat the nothingness he felt. In chapter 3, Solomon speaks of the way God placed eternity inside all of us, and that He has made everything beautiful in its time. I believe it to be true that we have bits of eternity hidden in our hearts because we never seem to have enough time; we feel time passes too quickly or too slowly, and years go by in what seems like an instant. Solomon would say to this, “All is vanity.” And while I think that a large part of what we strive and toil for will result in no gain on the other side of eternity, I do believe that a life lived for the gospel, which was God’s plan for redemption well before he set the universe in motion, is one not lived in vain.
I think it’s important to acknowledge that the gospel is not an automatic relief for poverty, or sickness, or sin, although it will cause people to be more generous (i.e. the tax collectors, who, after they met Jesus, gave all of their wealth to the poor), will sometimes heal them, and will often cause them to wage war on anything in their hearts that would displease Jesus. The gospel is not behavior modification, it is grace, plain and simple, but grace does change the way we respond to and take responsibility for our actions.
Will the gospel take hold of the hearts of the teenagers in rural Botswana? I don’t know. I can hope that they’ll find that Jesus both accepts them exactly as they are, acknowledging their faults and past mistakes, and calls them from a cycle of self-depreciation to a life lived in freedom from sin. It is not an easy life– it is much easier to live according to the plans we have for ourselves and not submit our lives to the will of God, whether or not those plans actually come to fruition.
I never expected that when I entered this region of Botswana, I’d be confronted with my own past. I grew up in a Christian family, yes, but until I turned 18, I never understood who Jesus was, and I believed whole-heartedly that to be a Christian was to do as few bad things in your life as possible. Sometimes I got it really right: the grades, the no partying, the no making out with boys. And sometimes I felt alienated from a set of rules that look nothing like the man who freed a woman caught in adultery from her accusers by calling out their own sin. Much like the picture the youth in this region have of Christians: a bunch of judgmental hypocrites, was my experience with the Christian community I was surrounded by, especially in the youth group.
Here’s the thing about believing that to be a Christian is to be a good person: it’s just not true. In Romans chapters 1-3, we are reminded that no one is holy or seeks God on his own, not even one. You can follow the rules all you want, but the rules will never compare to the perfect flesh and blood of Jesus, who lived as our substitute, and meets you with an incomparable forgiveness for anything and everything you’ve ever done. Jesus didn’t shirk his responsibility when he realized how jacked up his bride, the Church, was. Instead, he extends all people an invitation to come and receive covenantal love.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is that of the Prodigal Son. When Jesus presents this story, there are two groups of people present: two respective audiences. First, you have the tax collectors and the “sinners.” I.e. The people who have turned away from God. Secondly, you have the Pharisees. The sinners obviously resonated with the story of the first son, who was forgiven everything and welcomed back into child status– no questions asked. But Jesus makes an important choice in showing us that the Father in the story leaves the “Welcome Home” feast to offer the older brother a chance at forgiving, humility, and family unity. By the world’s standards, the elder son has done everything properly. He has lived a normal life. He has followed the rules diligently, and he is furious when his younger brother, who in his eyes is a huge disappointment, is absolved of any and all outstanding debts and sins. I can imagine how the Pharisees felt. When you’re told obedience will be your savior, and someone who doesn’t obey is handed the same privileges and rights as you, you’re inclined to feel a little upset.
It is crucial to note that the Father left the party in pursuit of his eldest son. None of us can achieve right standing with God on our own– if we have sinned and feel alienated, we can repent but HE is the one who offers mercy and grace (and a robe). If we have been compliant to his statutes and demands, yet feel far from him, HE is the one who leaves the party to invite us to celebrate with our brother who has come home, rather than pout about it.
This is my prayer for the people of Struizendam. Whether they have been in church since their very first year of life, following all the rules, or whether the grace of God is entirely new for them, my prayer is that they will recognize that God is the one who is granting blessings, and he is the one extending the invitation to a life beyond normality. He is extending the invitation to a life of amazing grace.
Grace and peace,
Sarah
