For years and years, I have dreaded any and all readings of Proverbs 31, except for at my grandmother’s funeral, when I felt it was absolutely appropriate to celebrate the woman that she was. At times, I would feel pretty confident and secure in my walk with Jesus, and then BAM, “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come.” Okay, homegirl. I see you. You’ve got your stuff together.
It’s like Proverbs 31 has been hanging over my head like a perpetual, discouraging rain cloud, promising that if I don’t straighten up, the rain will never end. I think if I’m honest with myself, the Proverbs 31 woman is almost a point of envy for me. She has it all: a husband who adores her, children who respect her, a community in awe of her selfless and unlimited, resourceful love. All of these are things I want, eventually. All of these things are honorable and worth merit.
Something, though, that I have always found disheartening about Proverbs 31 woman is that only once is her relationship with God mentioned, and that is to say that she fears him. Fearing the Lord is important, definitely. It is absolutely vital that we have a clear picture of God’s holiness and reverence. He is almighty. He is terrifying. He is powerful. He is completely other.
But I think something I would have liked to have seen in Proverbs 31 (and thank God I didn’t write the scriptures) is that the woman knew her identity in God and was secure in it. That’s why she was so apt to do amazing things and be praised. She wasn’t obsessed with her appearance and the way other people perceived her. All of her accomplishments were an overflow of the security of her heart.
See, when we wake up in the morning and make a conscious decision that we will let the Creator of the Universe speak our identity into us it absolutely shapes the way we perceive ourselves and others. Because of Jesus’ righteousness, I am called WORTHY. I am called CLEAN. I am called FORGIVEN. I am called BEAUTIFUL. I am called DAUGHTER. All of these titles have the ability to completely realign the way we think about ourselves. Not that we are perfect, but that Jesus is shaping and molding us into people who believe the gospel of grace whole-heartedly, and in that we are able to walk confidently in the identity God gave us.
This is a daily decision. It also means dying to ourselves, the self that does not desire God, and finding strength in the new self that he gives us. This is a complicated process. I am me. Jesus is Jesus. When God looks at me, Jesus is me (aka he is covering me in his righteous, sinless life, death, and resurrection). You are already righteous by the blood of Jesus, but the Holy Spirit is also working to refine your flesh and make it reflect Jesus even more so.
After learning (and relearning and relearning) that God is the only one who has the capability to define me (NOT the opinions of others, NOT my relationship status, NOT my doubts and insecurities, NOT EVEN my abilities and skills and accomplishments), there is a weight (or, in keeping with the analogy, rain cloud) lifted.
When I look at Proverbs 31 now, there is a sense of pride instead of discouragement I feel for the woman. She is confident in who God created her to be. She has allowed her Savior to describe his heart for her, so that she can be fully herself and rely on His strength to accomplish as many wonderful, God-glorifying things as she is able.
This is an incredible gift, and one that I am still working to grasp. God has called me “daughter.” He has called me “loved” and “accepted.” This is not to be taken lightly. It is to be celebrated with joy and gratitude, and it is to be remembered daily.
In what way do you struggle with comparing yourself to the Proverbs 31 woman?
Grace and peace,
Sarah
