My biggest fear is public speaking. I dreaded giving speeches for class. No matter how much I tried to rationalize with myself that it wasn't a big deal, I would get ill whenever I had to speak in front of people, no matter how large or small the group, whether or not I knew the audience. I'd feel nauseous, get really shakey, and have such a dry mouth that I would barely be able to speak the words in between gasps for breath. Each time I spoke in front of a crowd, my reaction got worse and worse.
Last week I found out that each of the members of my team would preach to churches in nearby gypsy villages. Uhhhh really? Month 1 and I'm already being asked to preach? I saw in the brochure that the World Race might involve some preaching, but I just overlooked that part and instead focused on the opportunity to work with orphans and sex trafficking.
Yesterday my turn came up to deliver the sermon. I was terrified. Whenever someone brought up the fact that I was preaching that evening, I would start tearing up. I decided to prepare ahead and ask Hannah to be my backup in case I just couldn't speak. After all, my sermon was about finding strength in Jesus, and how is someone who is shaking and gasping for breath supposed to speak about that?
The topic was actually perfect for me to speak about. After receiving lots of encouragement and prayer from my team and friends and family from back home, as well as spending some good time praying and meditating on the verses I was preaching on, my attitude completely changed. I came on this Race offering up my body and my life as a living sacrifice to God. I told Him that I would do anything for Him. This includes facing my biggest fear. I was going to preach and I was going to do it for God. I prayed that my words would bring Him joy, that they would be His own words and not my own, that He would be pleased with my boldness in proclaiming Truth.
So I got up on the stage and I told everyone that I was terrified of public speaking and that the only reason why I was up there in front of them is because Christ gives me strength. Then I delivered my sermon. I wasn't comfortable up on stage, but I was not fearful either. There was no nausea, shaking, dry mouth, or gasping for air. Praise Jesus for the strength He gave me to conquer my biggest fear for His glory.
Yesterday in general was a day of victory. Victory in delivering my first sermon. Victory in my first squatty potty experience. Basically the "bathroom" was a cement structure with no doors that had little holes in it with bricks in front of it (still not sure what those are for…) and lots and lots of spiders. Victory in team improv worship. The church asked us to all get up on stage and sing upbeat English worship songs. Umm okie dokie. We rocked Revelation Song, but I think we may need to have a kareoke night to practice a few other songs… Victory in our first healing! A woman a few rows back was holding her head and it was obvious she was in pain. One of her eyes was gooped shut. Kelly and Jill went over to pray for her. They were prayer warriors. I joined them awhile later and soon she said that she had no more pain. After awhile it was clear that she had pain again. We prayed over her again and she told us that the pain was gone in her head except for right above her eye. Her eye was open and she said that she could see for the first time in a month. It was a strange situation and we're still processing what happened. But it was clear that God showed up, of that I'm sure.
In case you are interested, here's my sermon transcript:
This evening, I will be reading from 2 Corinthians 4:7-18.
The Apostle Paul wrote this and he knew suffering. Later in this letter, he writes about how he has been beaten, imprisoned, and stoned. He has been hungry, naked, and cold. Yet in chapter 12 verses 9 & 10 he writes, But he (referring to Jesus) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
If we trust in Jesus, we have the God of the universe on our side. The God who created everything, the God who sustains everything, the God who rules over everything. This God is not a weak God. He is strong and powerful. There is nothing that can overcome Him. And He’s on our side. Which means nothing can overcome us. Even though we face hardships, we will not be defeated. No matter how afflicted we are, God hold those who love Him in His hands and He cares for them. Deuteronomy 31:6 says Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
The struggles of this world may make you weary, but they are no match for the promises of God who has made us more than conquerors. We have an enemy on this earth trying to fill us with his lies of hopelessness ad defeat. But Jesus came to bring light and truth to a dark world so that we can live without fear knowing that he will bring us through all of our problems. The end of our passage tells us not to focus on the things we see in this world, but to focus on Jesus, who is unseen. Because of Jesus, we know that we will have eternal life in the presence of God. There will be no more sickness. There will be no more pain. There will be no more sorrow. Just love. Pure and perfect love. Let’s not focus our minds on the pain in this world, because they are, as Paul says, slight and momentary, in comparison with the greatness we will experience in Heaven for all of eternity. Remain strong in your faith.
You need to know that you have an eternal hope in Jesus Christ and he will never fail you. It does not matter what heartache or pain you are in. His love is able to heal and comfort you.
It is only by the strength of Christ who lives in us that we can overcome the forces of evil that try to defeat us everyday. There is no stronghold in your life that can destroy you when you have put your faith in Jesus. He is all that you need because he alone can do all things. Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through him who strengthens me. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
For those of you who know and love Jesus, I want to encourage you with Psalm 27:14. I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Wait for the Lord, because He is faithful. No matter what your life looks like now, do not lose hope. But hope in Christ. He will give you strength. He will not let you be destroyed.
The best thing about the love of Christ is that he is willing to meet you where you are He wants to give you his power to overcome your weaknesses. He wants to restore your life and give you a future. He wants to give you victory over all that comes against you. Salvation is found only in Jesus. There is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved. It is my prayer that you will call upon his name today.
