Last night I heard a wonderful talk by a fellow senior at UW Madison. She gave beautiful examples of how God shows up in big ways when we submit to Him. We studied the story of Esther, who risked her life in submission to God.
If you haven't read Esther, check it out here -it's a quick, easy read and an amazing story of God's providence. A quick summary (missing lots of details, so I strongly recommend reading the story for yourself): There was once a king named Ahasuerus (also known as Xerxes) who was looking for a new queen. He held a year-long beauty pageant to find just the right girl, who just happened to be Esther. A few years later, one of the king's evil advisors, Haman, encouraged the king to pass a decree to kill all the Jews. Esther's cousin, Mordecai, asked Esther to go before the king to request that the decree be cancelled. This was no small favor; nobody was allowed to approach the king without his permission. Those who approached the king without permission could be thrown in prison or killed. Esther told Mordecai her fears, but he replied that she may have been placed in her influential position as queen for "such a time as this". In Esther 4:16, Esther courageously declares "If I perish, I perish" but God did not let Esther perish! God was with Esther and kept her safe. He worked through her to carry out His plan to save the Jewish people in the kingdom.
Too often I find myself holding something back from God. I choose comfort over surrender. By not surrendering to God, I am in effect saying that I do not trust Him. God created me and sustains me. God has never failed me. Why won't I give everything over to Him? Sometimes I get caught in the lie that by going on the World Race, I'm surrendering enough. But it is not enough! God wants all of us. For me, it's not the big things that I hold back, but the little things, the everyday moment-to-moment decisions to live for Him. It's choosing to not say something that could spark a spiritual conversation. It's choosing to awkwardly laugh rather than speak up when I hear a joke that I know is wrong. It's choosing to comfort myself with the things of this world rather than by spending time with my Father.
Our sin holds us back from fully experiencing God's glory. Of course we cannot be perfect until Jesus comes back to restore us, but if we allow ourselves to remain trapped in perpetual sin, if we consistently turn our backs on God, we are depriving ourselves of the freedom, joy, and adventure that can only be found in a deep and personal relationship with our Creator.
So, what do we do? Pray. Ask God to reveal to you areas that you are holding back from him. Then let go! Surrender yourself to Jesus, the hero, the only one who can save you. The more we choose our flesh over Jesus, the easier it becomes. But, praise God, the reverse can also be true! It can seem so hard, risky, and painful to supress our natural desires and give ourselves over to the Lord, but Beloved, it is so worth it.
Father, I ask that you would reveal to me the areas in my life that I am keeping from you. Lord, I ask that you help me to release these things, to hold them out to you with open hands. Jesus, I admit that it is hard for me to choose you in my daily moments. God, give me the strength to give myself over to you and to boldly declare, "if I perish, I perish" because, Jesus, I know that I will not perish. In you, I have confidence in eternity by your side and I praise you for this. Amen.
Dear friends, I invite you to meditate on the words of this song. Let it be your prayer of surrender.
