I can still remember the day I felt God calling me to the mission field. I was around 9 or 10 years old and one of the missionary families our church sponsored had come back to the States to give an update on their work. I remember sitting there thinking it could be really boring. Boy was I wrong. Something happened during the time they were sharing about their ministry work and I could just feel God tugging at my heart. It was almost like he was whispering that he had the same thing in mind for me when I grew up. I was ecstatic. As a 9 year old kid, getting to travel to other countries and help people there sounded pretty cool. I had grown up listening to my dad talk about other cultures around the world and figured I could really do what God was calling me towards.
Well, as I got older, I began to become doubtful and fearful about His calling. I worried that there was no way I do something to make a difference in the world. I was scared. I had also grown up hearing about the persecuted church and I did not want to have bad things happen to me as a missionary. For many years I struggled. I would go through phases where I would get excited and couldn’t wait to grow up so I could begin my life as missionary and then my doubt would hit me like a brick wall. I came up with different career ideas for myself in middle school and continued to develop those ideas until high school.
During the middle of my sophomore year, I had decided to be adventurous and go on a trip with a small group of fellow students from my high school to Costa Rica. I was once again excited about missions. Unfortunately, most of that trip ended up being more about having fun and enjoying a different country than about missions, but it did have an impact on me. I began to see the way other people actually live in countries other than the United States and I could feel that tugging at my heart telling me I was meant for more than just a regular job back home.
I went home from that trip wanting so badly to go on more mission trips. I begged and begged my parents about every single trip I heard about. Until my senior year, I never ended up going on any of them. That year, several students in my Spanish teacher’s classes had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Guatemala and I was all in. To be honest, I was all in the moment I heard her announce the idea and my parents agreed to it this time! I was psyched. Our small group ended up in a small town in Guatemala called Cantel where a fellow ACSI school needed our help building more classrooms for their students. While we were there we built the foundation for the classroom and hung out with the students and made some home visits to some of the families of the students. We also did some sports ministry in a town close to Cantel and (I) did some street ministry when we were in the big cities at the end of the trip. It was one of the best weeks of my life. I found myself completely at peace with God’s calling while I was on the trip. I wasn’t afraid to step out of my comfort zone and let Him use all of my gifts and talents for His purpose anymore. I came back knowing and loving the fact that at some point I would end up back in a third world country. I also came to realize that God was for sure not only calling me to the mission field but to become a teacher and work with orphans too.
When I came home, I started thinking hard about what to do with my life. I had already applied to college and was going for a teaching degree. But I struggled with wanting to go back out on the field right then and there! I spent hours trying to convince my dad to let me join YWAM and delay college for a while but the decision was made that I needed to go to school first. Over these past 3 years of college, I have struggled with restlessness. There have been times I have spent hours poring over books and websites about ministries in other countries and the people of these countries. I watched as many of my other friends heard God’s call to the mission field. It was hard to be patient. I began to feel like God had forgotten about me.
But alas, He has not! About 3 months ago, I was wasting time looking on Pinterest instead of writing a lesson plan like I should have been doing. Out of nowhere I see this pin with the World Race logo on it and a caption that intrigued me. I clicked on it and was led to the World Race website where I spent a few hours looking at every bit of information I could get my hands on. I just knew this was for me. Fortunately it was right before spring break and I would have time to talk to my parents in person about this amazing opportunity then. I was emotional when I went home. I was worried that my parents would once again hold off, but you know what…they didn’t! It took a lot of work, but both my parents supported me in my decision! From that point, I prayed and prayed that if God really wanted me to do this then He would continue to open the doors that stood in front of me. The day I heard I had been accepted into the race I cried and I cried hard (but they were tears of joy).
Now my life plans have changed. I will no longer be going to teach in an Elementary school right away after I graduate. In January 2013, I will get on a plane with a backpack holding everything I will own for a whole entire year and continue the journey of God’s plan for my life. At times it still doesn’t seem real. Could this really be happening? I’ve been waiting for so long and He is finally sending me! I know this is going to be a year of challenges. It will be a year of heartache and pain, but it will also be a year filled with joy. I cannot wait to see how God both uses me and changes me throughout the year. I have no more doubts about His calling and no more fear about what could happen. I sit here knowing a full 100% that this is exactly what God has had in mind for me. This is the next stage. I have absolutely no idea what God is going to do both in my life and the lives of those I meet during this time, but I do know that I will not be alone and I will wholeheartedly follow wherever He leads.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
