Let’s talk about nursing. People don’t realize how crazy a job it is. Nurses have a special, unspoken bond. There have been numerous articles written about this topic, and all of them are relatable. To all my non-medical friends out there, this post is about me externally processing the memories of my old job and what nursing means to me. Keep reading if you’re interested or want a glimpse of what nurses experience. If not, ignore this post.
For the most part, people picture nurses as either sexy blondes wearing little to nothing, or old women working in a nursing home helping even older people than themselves. While both of those stereotypes are sometimes true, there’s a lot in between that people don’t know about. Shout out to the non-medical people that are friends with nurses – it’s tough because most of what we talk about is nursing. We share the same humor, make jokes that may seem morbid to outsiders, and talk about the drama of the floor, coworkers, and crazy patients. But there’s some sanity to our madness.
When I became a nurse, I did not realize what that would mean. I didn’t anticipate all the highs and lows, the stress, the anxiety, and the crazy hours. I didn’t expect my job to take over my life. I didn’t expect to experience so much abuse – I’ve been cursed at, yelled at, punched, bitten, spat on, and belittled. I’ve seen parts of humanity that make me question a lot of things. I’ve been treated like garbage because I took too long to bring someone a cup of water. I’ve had other people’s bodily fluids drench myself. I’ve found foreign objects in ungodly places. I’ve heard details about people’s lives that probably shouldn’t be spoken out loud, and walked in on patients doing things that shouldn’t be done in a hospital (#scarred for life). I’ve been hit on by creepy old men, and set up with family members. People have given me too much unwanted advice, and asked too many personal questions. I’ve been treated like a personal pharmacist, tried to be manipulated into giving enough drugs to get a high off of. I’ve been treated like anything other than a nurse – a personal therapist, doctor, waitress, trash bin, toilet, etc.
All these things make it hard to leave the job at the hospital. You take it home with you (sometimes so literally, I would have to strip in the garage). It warps your sense of humor, and makes you a little bit crazy. It gives you nightmares that linger. No amount of days off can make you forget the things that happen during the shift (lol not even 9 months of not working has seemed to help with that). You go to other nurses to decompress, complain, share stories, and laugh about the ridiculous. You bottle it all up until you are about to explode and then write a blog about it. It affects every part of you.
As I re-read what I have written here, it sounds like I hated my job – absolutely not!! I loved it. There’s a lot that I didn’t expect when I became a nurse. I didn’t anticipate bringing the cares of work home with me, or falling in love with my patients so completely that I would go back to the hospital to spend time with them on my days off. I didn’t expect the drama from coworkers, or discovering some of my best friends in the people I worked with. I loved the people I cared for, I loved the challenges it brought and using my brain to solve them. I loved the adrenaline, and the realization that people’s lives depended on me. I loved working with people from all over the world, from every culture – brought together to serve the people most in need. I loved caring for patients, and getting to know them in their most intimate moments. I loved laughing with people, crying with people, caring for them, rejoicing with them, and encouraging them. I loved dealing with people’s literal shit, because that meant that they trusted me enough to let me care for them in their most vulnerable moments. I even loved being there for them when they were given a hopeless diagnosis, or with the family when their loved one passed on.
I have been in the room when someone was told they had just months left to live, watched as the shock set in on the faces of everyone in the room, comforted them as they cried, and tried to hold it together until I could leave the room and go break down in the supply closet. I have cared for the unwanted, unloved, and forgotten. I have been part of the only family that someone had – the team of medical professionals that became family when the real family forgot them. I have rejoiced with people and cried with people in the highest and lowest points of life, and everything in between. I have been there for birth, death, marriage, and divorce. I’ve watched as the daughter of a patient visited her mom in the hospital during homecoming, just after she had won the title of queen. I’ve been there for people as they began to prepare for death, as well as when they’ve been given the news that they will live! I have experienced every high and low which is not possible in an other profession, and I have loved it all.
It was not the craziness, the stress, or the long hours that caused me to quit. There were other reasons.
When I was 13, I was given a vision from the Lord that called me into nursing. It became my dream from then on to use my nursing skills overseas. Since then, I have loved everything about nursing, even the hard things. Being a nurse is part of who I am, and even though I am not working as a nurse now, it still is. I quit my job to go on the World Race. I chose to leave a job that was draining me – mentally, physically, and spiritually – and instead chose to pursue an opportunity that would help me to refocus on the important things, along with a chance to take a break. I loved my old job – I grew in tremendous ways and was supported by some amazing coworkers. I am truly thankful for my experiences there. However, that was a season of my life – a season that I will be forever grateful for, and one that I hope will propel me forward into even greater things. I don’t know what’s next. Maybe, I’ll return to a job just like my last, or maybe I’ll do something different. But whatever it is, I will always be a nurse at heart.
*When I talk about all that I’ve done, none of it was “just me.” I am drawing from my experiences and processing what I’ve learned. I worked with and was supported by an incredible team – from the highest ranking doctor, to the almost forgotten staff members. The social workers, hospitality team, CNAs, management, doctors, and other nurses, even the people that worked day and night to process test results and everyone else that works in a hospital – these are all the people that make an impact on patient’s lives and make the job what it is. So thanks to everyone that made the two years of my experiences totally worth it.
