I am a linear thinker. I love science and math, I love making lists, I love to study, I hate to be wrong, I hate even more admitting when I’m wrong, and my biggest fear in life is losing what I know, or, forgetting.
Being state-side I feel like I have this spiritual amnesia, like I’ve forgotten everything I learned on the race. But being in Atlanta has been a time to remember. It started with baby steps at training camp with little, “Oh yeahs…” and “How could I have forgotten about that…” and now I feel like Neo from the Matrix, getting flooded with downloaded information or John Nash, frantically writing everything that’s in my head just to get it on paper so I can make room in my mind for the next thing. But the killer thing is that it’s nothing new, it’s all stuff I’ve learned throughout this past year and I just forgot it.
Here’s my latest “aha”:
Is it ok to demand things from God?
I say yes.
Genesis 32: 24-26 24 “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, ‘Let me go, for it is daybreak.’ But Jacob replied, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.'”
Jacob wrestled with God and demanded, he didn’t ask, that He bless him. Why can’t we? That sounds so simple and maybe naive, I’m not sure, but really think about it and put yourself in Jacob’s shoes. He wrestled, fought this man (God) for hours on end, till daybreak, he even had his hip dislocated, but he didn’t stop fighting for what he wanted. Can you imagine what would happen if we prayed like that all the time, with that kind of faith?
27 The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. 28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,<sup value='[a]’>[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” 29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. (Genesis 32: 27-29)
Jacob got what he demanded from the Lord, because he had faith and perseverance.
“But even if you don’t”
That’s where the issue is. What happens if we make these demands in faith and nothing comes from them? Maybe that’s why we have a tendency to be more passive; less risk, less of a let down. If we make demands, crying out to God in faith believing it will happen, and then it doesn’t, we feel let down. But, does our faith lie in God or the outcome of our prayers? God is good. He only has good for us. Why is it so hard for us to believe that sometimes?
But my question of the day has nothing to do with prayer or perseverance. My question in all this (because I forgot how much I love asking questions) is, how do you keep from forgetting?
