In the Philippines, we shoveled poo.
In Malaysia, we served food.
In Thailand, we cut rice.
In Cambodia, we taught English.
In Kenya, we did door-to-door and preached.
In Rwanda, we did door-to-door and preached.
In Uganda, we are doing door-to-door and preaching.
I’m getting burnt out. I feel like I’ve hit a wall.
All I want is some alone time but there is no such thing; this trip is an introvert’s worst nightmare.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that I am coming off an awesome month, or that it’s the middle of the race, or that we are doing the exact same thing for the third month in a row, or that I haven’t been sleeping well for the last couple of months, but I can feel myself shutting down.
I’m tired of going door-to-door, I’m tired of preaching, I’m tired of exerting excessive amounts of energy every time I have to interact with people. I don’t even have the energy to be myself.
We fight for our joy, we fight for each other, we fight for our freedom, we fight for our days off, I have nothing left. I’m exhausted.
I don’t know what to do. I read my Bible, I try to hear from God but lately I’ve been hearing nothing, I sit in our crowded bedroom with my iPod blaring, pretending like there aren’t four other people in the room, but I can’t seem to be rejuvenated. I don’t understand what else I can do to recharge.
…and I have ringworm.
I want to be here and I want to have a good attitude and I want to be joyful to be here, but I’m just so tired.
So this month, you can look forward to my future blogs about all the things I’m going to learn about joy and perseverance.
I’m not complaining, I’m just keeping it real.
AIM Staff, if you’re reading this, there needs to be a mid-race vacation implemented.
(Debrief is not vacation.)
