I'm totally and completely overwhelmed. x40000
I want to write an honest blog of how i am feeling.
(Hi i'm human, it sucks. )
On top of the numerous chores that need to be done to even get to training camp and make sure everything is right before i leave for a year, I just got a call from my mom about my grandparents needing help. I would drop all i have to take care of my siblings or parents if they were in need of me and could not physically take care of themselves, just wanted to say that really quick. Anyways i am making a decision to leave MD and go live with my grandparents to take care of my grandmother in FL till i leave in September, all the nurses they have hired have stolen from them so they are reaching out for help. She has parkinson's and broke her foot and cant walk. My grandfather has a bad back and cant walk very well either so is not able to really take care of her. I have a million things to do in Md remember? How can I just leave? Jesus help me. I want to take care of my grandparents because I love you and i want to love them and show them I love them (btw i really don't have a relationship with them because i've only seen them about a handful of times innnnn so many years i cant remember) but what about everything here? How am i going to fundraise in Florida? how am i going to be able to deal with blablalbalbalb the world. Well on top of that im only funded to 5,600…I am trusting in the Lord, I need his patience. Honestly i feel like quitting..allot of the time. But this is what keeps me going and keeps me here, I want to do his will more then i want to do mine. I want to serve him, I want to show my appreciation for giving me his life for and i want to be his hands & feet, more then anything in the world. (sorry for all that, but i needed that to be able to emphasize this..)
Thank you my dear Heavenly Father that you are everything i am not, i cant be, and i feel i don't have the power to do. I Love You so much.
