So here I was in Rotchaburi, Thailand and feeling a bit disconnected from God. I know what you are thinking….disconnected? from God?? You are a missionary! How can you be disconnected from God?? I was thinking the same things. I guess I thought that if I traveled across the world to follow Jesus that well, He would show up. I mean I have seen some awesome things, met some awesome people, and started some great relationships, but somehow I felt like I was missing it all; missing Him in it all. So me being me, I started to complain to God. Lord, what am I doing here? I feel like I haven’t ministered to anyone. Where are you? Why haven’t you showed up! Basically I was having myself a little pitty party. My pitty party was interrupted by my teammate for yet another meeting. I reluctantly went downstairs to discuss what we were going to do the next day. This was the first time we had been given the opportunity to do a planned ministry as a group. We were going to a Thai church and had been asked to prepare a song, a testimony, an activity, and a skit “just in case” we were asked to share. We were told the pastor would be speaking on peace. Oooooook peace. Where do we go from there?? We started to brainstorm. While praying for a direction I found myself pleading….Lord please show up! After a moment and a few suggestions of scripture to speak on I was lead to read Psalm 32. Now, because I am new to trusting that what I hear is truly His voice I didn’t think much of it at first, but I decided to share it with the group anyway. As I read it I realized the words were pretty much describing my testimony. I wasn’t really sure exactly what my testimony was before this point. I had never really shared my testimony before so I had never had to completely develop it. The teams’ reaction was “That’s awesome! Can you speak about it?” My immediate thoughts were “Aw man why did I have to open my big fat mouth?” And then God said (being as hilarious as He is), “No, where have you been?? It’s time for you to show up!” To be continued……..
