Wow God’s been working on my heart. I’ve been reading about
trusting God with all my baggage, fear, and everything else, and loving Him
with everything I have. I’ve always know that’s what’s commanded of me, and
that I wanted more, but He’s awakening this desire within me…
I’m hungry.
He’s awakening a hunger within me; a need for Him like I’ve
never felt before. He’s all I need- everything I need. I’ve been a glutton-
literally. I have and extra 15lbs to prove it. I’ve eaten constantly, but I
can’t quench this hunger. My eyes are being opened to his extravagance and His
deep love for me, and I’m overcome with awe and desire to come closer.
Water couldn’t quench my thirst, food couldn’t quench my
hunger- so I prayed for the floodgates of heaven to open and pour down. They
did, both literally and spiritually. In the middle of an African rain storm I
finally felt God’s love pouring over me, and His magnificence beyond my
understanding.
When you seek me with all your heart you will find me.
I thought of going to the gospels and finding what I wasn’t
doing right, but instead He led me to Song of Songs, and showed me how to be
his beloved. It says in 4:7 “All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no
flaw in you.” God thinks that about me! He created me, just like He wanted me-
so I’m exactly what He wants! I understand now that He created me to love and
worship Him, and that’s why even when I hide my face from Him- He pursues me
like He can’t live without me.
I realized I can’t
understand how small I am unless I understand how mighty He is. I can’t
understand how much I need Him unless I realize how little he needs me- but
wants me with all His heart. I can’t know who I am unless I know Him.
My lover is mine, and I am His.
I don’t have to be hungry, I just have to draw near and be
filled.
