A warm wind flowed through the air. It danced through the tall trees above a woman's head as she walked slowly towards the clearing. She closed her eyes and inhaled a long, deep breath. She inhaled the sweet smell of the forest. Warm and moist, rich from the fertile soil. There is a sweet ribbon that laces the scent of the air. Flitted through the breeze with joy. She couldn't place the smell, but it made her smile, and an unexpected anticipation rose in her heart.
The woman continued to walk, feeling the earth beneath her, conscious of every step that brought her closer to the edge of the clearing ahead. The sun is beating down upon the ground, and the green forest draws back in reverence to the light. She reaches the edge, and feels her heart pounding within her. Turning back to the forest, she sees all that is good, all that she has known her whole life. It is comfortable, cool, and, living in the shade of the tall, majestic trees in the fertile land behind. It was familiar to her.
She had never known what truly lay beyond the edge of that precious wood. She had heard stories that brought excitement to her heart, that propelled her to walk towards the edge and find out herself. To find out if it is true that there is fertile land to be harvested elsewhere. She was drawn to the edge of the unknown.
And so now she stood at the edge. With all that was familiar behind, and all of the unknown before her.
But the instant that she laid eyes on what was beyond that precipice, her heart was captivated. The sweet smell that had faintly drifted before her in the forest now covered her completely.
It was the sweetest thing she had ever smelled. Like every good thing wrapped up and bottled into the most potent, almost tangible scent, and poured out thickly into the air. It was every sweet flower, the most delectable dessert, the cool scent of rain, of warm delights.
But the sight in front of her brought the woman to her knees in delight. Before her, below the edge, lay a sparkling blue body of water. It shone and glimmered with all the colors of the rainbow, and undulated with the tide below.
The woman rose to her feet, still awestruck and overwhelmed in every sense. She inhaled deeply again, closing her eyes and savoring the moment. Her heart began to pound as she turned and cast one more look on the forest, which had seemed to dull in color as she glanced back at the sparkling water in front of her. It seemed to be alive, and calling to her, drawing her in, inviting her to plunge in and drink deep of its living power.
She needed no more. The woman took a few steps back, and then sprinted ahead, her heart pounding in a mix of fear and excitement at what lay before and below her. She didn't pause for a second as her last footfall fell before the edge, and she propelled herself off into the sweet air.
It seemed to carry her in its delightful weight, and she smiled as big as she had ever smiled in all her life. This was what I was made for, she thought.
With that, she hit the water, plunging into its surprisingly warm, yet cool body. It enveloped her and sent a current of excitement almost like a shock of electricity through her body. It wasn't painful at all. It was like raw happiness and joy. The first sign of spring after a long winter. A joyous reunion with an old friend. It was like coming home.
The woman broke the surface of the water, gulping the sweet air in, taking her first breath of a new life. This was a new beginning, and came in a way she never expected.
So many of these emotions speed through my mind and heart like a rushing freight train as I think about what God is calling me to on the World Race. There are many expectations, yet not many at all. It is an interesting dichotomy.
I have never been out of the country before, and I will soon be traveling to eleven different countries. That alone should hold many expectations, but at the same time, I have no idea what to expect, other than what I have heard.
I expect that my understanding of the Western culture will be rocked. I will begin to see things in a new light.
I expect to live in very different conditions than what I am used to here in America.
I expect to see many things that I am not accustomed to.
I expect that there will be many times where I am uncomfortable.
I expect to laugh, and to cry.
I expect that I will want to leave some places, and that some places will be very hard to leave.
I expect that I will encounter many different kinds of people, and many different situations.
I expect that I will run into my fair share of spiders. I expect that I will be just as scared of them there as I am here (I do not particularly like spiders, and I hope that the ones I run into won't be the size of my face.)
I expect to miss my family and friends.
I expect that I will miss “normal” Christmas traditions that I am used to in America (I LOVE Christmas time.)
These are all skimming the surface of my heart. Really, I expect that probably every expectation I have will be shattered. That every expectation will be molded into something new, and I will see through new eyes. My hope is that I continue to learn quickly and remember often that no matter what expectation I have, whether realized or not, God is in control.
I know that I will be broken. I know that God will mend my heart. I know that He will show up in BIG ways.
At the beginning of this year, I asked God to take me deeper with Him. To deepen my faith, and make me fully dependent on Him alone. He is doing that even now, and boy, is it hard. It is so hard for me to let go of control. I should have know He would hold me to my word, and that He would indeed show up in big ways, but not without great faith and trust on my part.
I absolutely love that about my God, though. It speaks volumes of His care for me, that He would care enough and love me enough not to just hand me what I ask on a silver platter, but that He wrestles with me, and tenderly yet firmly shapes my heart. How He is molding me through every step, shaping me into the vessel He needs me to be so that He can pour out His love into the world through me in some small way.
It may be hard. I know for a fact that it will be hard. But I know that He is faithful. I'm not just expecting Him to show up in big ways. I KNOW that He will. I am believing Him to show up in huge ways not only on the race, but before the race, and after the race.
He is weaving a great story through my life, and interconnecting it with others in ways that I can't even imagine right now. It is all for a purpose.
For now, overall, I am believing God to show up in huge ways. I know He is sovereign, and will place me exactly where I need to be for such a time as this.
All of my expectations can be shattered as far as I am concerned, because I know whose hand I am in, and no expectation or result in the world could compete with that Powerful, Loving, Mighty Hand.
Expectation
-Belief about (or mental picture of) the future
-Anticipation: anticipating with confidence of fulfillment
-The feeling that something is about to happen
Something is about to happen. I am not just expecting it, I know it. Deep in my soul. Would you be a part of how God is moving now?
