*I’m still working through this realization, but wanted to share it because it’s been pivotal…
Those who know me, know that I am a collector… a keeper… of things… of experiences… Anytime I come across something I like, I try to keep it or a memory of it… whether it be sand, a photo, a rock, a keychain… For the last month or so, God has been speaking to me about this… A couple of moments have emphasized my need for letting go…
(Broken bricks outside of a brick factory in Liepa, Latvia.)
On the World Race, we carry around enough gear for one year in two bags… Before arriving in Thailand, my bags were already bursting at the seams. But, in each country I managed to collect even more…! Sand from every beach, souvenirs to send home, rocks and shells, an overload of photos… As if our bags weren’t heavy enough! With so much to keep track of, it takes longer to pack, it’s more difficult to move quickly, my hands aren’t free, I’ve even lost some things along the way… Like a pile of bricks, it weighs me down…!
(An ancient wall at Angkor Wat, Cambodia.)
Earlier this week, I came across a photo I took at Angkor Wat… In it, was a pile of rubble… But behind the rubble, you could see an ancient wall, beautifully engraved… If the pile of rubble was removed, the beauty of the wall would be revealed and stand out…!
These moments spoke to me… My bags are heavy! That wall would standout if only the rubble weren’t there!
Why have I felt the need to keep things? Why is it so difficult for me to let go?
Growing up, I had many expectations of what life would look like after college. Then, when life didn’t turn out quite like I had expected, I began doubting that there were still good days ahead of me… And, really, whether God was still good…
(Lake Barai in Cambodia.)
I began believing that my best days were behind me. And so, I kept things… toys from my happy childhood, old clothes or awards from high school, college papers and textbooks… Things that could take me back to happy times and happy feelings… I reasoned, if I’d already experienced the best that God had for me and all that life had to offer, I wanted, no NEEDED, to hold on to them… I needed to keep everything related to happy moments so that I could relive them and, so, maintain some momentary joy…
But I’ve realized, the time has come to let things go… Keeping things makes life cluttered… It weighs a person down… It gets expensive! And most importantly, keeping all these physical things that remind me of the past are only keeping ME in the past! Not only that, but I’m not able to be fully present in the moment because I’m too busy trying to capture it so I can look back on it! Ugh…. A never-ending cycle…!
Similarly, I realized that as much as I need to let go of physical things to move forward, it’s time to let go of emotional baggage, too. We all have emotional baggage that weighs us down and keeps us from rising to our full potential. For me, this has included bitterness, fears, jealousy, comparison of myself to others, and regrets… None of these things produce a fruitful, joyful life… Only more of the same negativity…
(A beautiful flowering tree in Vung Tau, Vietnam.)
As someone purchased by the blood of Jesus, I’ve realized that Jesus already purchased the ugliness in me… All these things I’ve been holding on to, actually belong to Him! At the cross He paid for our sin and the ugliness in our soul… In exchange, He has promised joy, peace, and an abundant life!
So, after coming to this realization, I gave it all to Him… He can hold on to them, He can take them out of my hands so that I can be FREE! Free from living in the past… Free from all the ways these ugly feelings would negatively influence my life…
FREEDOM! JOY! PEACE! LIFE!
Even still, I must daily let go of some of these things while others I’m still building up the courage and faith to completely let go of. But, I see the beauty and value in truly letting things go. In this, I have found joy and freedom!
So, I encourage you… Is there something you’re holding on to that is producing feelings of despair, doubt, fear, or simply a loss of interest in life itself?? Give them to Jesus. He is ready and waiting… He loves you and longs for you to be FREE! He longs to take you by the hand, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) He doesn’t judge; He doesn’t nit pick; He doesn’t scold; He simply says, “Come.”
(A couple at a park with a cross and statue of Jesus on Easter Sunday in Da Nang, Vietnam.)
