This is the question that I have struggled with for the past two months while I’ve been at home. I didn’t get it. I already had a flight, great friends, great community, an active lifestyle, awesome church, opportunities to serve and a recently signed contract in Taiwan…so God, why am I still here in Melbourne?
The past two months have been a huge rollercoaster ride for me both emotionally and spiritually. From seeing God open doors for me to work at a Christian school in Taipei almost instantly when I left Taiwan, to closing it after a week of progress, was really disappointing. Having another door open straight after to teach at a Government camp-style school in Taipei but then experiencing the long journey of waiting has been excruciating.
It has been super hard and has seriously taken a toll on my emotions and attitude for life. I’ve seen myself praising God to questioning Him, to re-trusting in His timing and then to losing it all and needing my friends, who also believe in Jesus to encourage me. It’s been a hard run.
But through all the stress, the depression, the anxiety and the insecurity that I’ve experienced over the past week of receiving the news that I will still be in Melbourne for this month, I’ve been reminded that God’s still here and He’s got this. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and learn not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”
I know God knows my desires – Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of you heart.” I know He has the best in store for me – Jeremiah 29:11,“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.” But one thing that I’ve been truly learning and understanding is the verse in Ecclesiastes 3:1 where it says, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens;” I know that God has not kept me back for no reason and I know that in my struggles, there’s a chance for me to learn about myself, grow from it and live more into the freedom that God had intended for me, and for you.
So, are you struggling with life at the moment? Are you asking the same question I asked? I want to encourage you to step back, consider and believe that God’s got you. He knows your struggles, His walking beside you in it and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been so blessed to have friends around me that have been able to pray for me, listen to me and encourage with me scripture, and I want to also offer my time to support you in this time of not knowing. Just know that Jesus says you’re worth it and He’s going to walk you in it, through it and out of it. I love you guys.
