It’s amazing what jealously can do to you. How it can affect the way you view people and your relationship with them. Looking back on all the relationships that I’ve developed over the race, I’ve noticed that the women that have taken me the longest to connect with have been the ones that I’ve been jealous of. Jealous of their beauty, looks, athleticism, talents, gifts, skills, their ability to connect with everyone, especially the guys, their joyfulness, “go-with-the-flow” attitude, friendliness, and to perfect it all, their humility, wisdom and desire to grow more Christ-like. Being on a squad with 40 beautiful women who are all striving to be more like Jesus has been amazing, but it has also been hard with comparison, especially when there is ‘No win in comparison’ (Andy Stanley).
God has been good though and has been with me every step of the way. Even though I never realised which individuals I would felt threatened by, God knew and provided opportunities for me to get to know them before and throughout the race. A squad mate I’ve recently acknowledged I have been jealous of, which has affected my relationship with her has been an individual that I was able to get to know better when I visited her and her family before launch. During the first month on the race, she made me a cross-bracelet that I have been wearing throughout the race and has been a constant reminder that she’s my friend and she isn’t out to hurt me. Having our teams work alongside each other for many months and being placed on the same team with her this past month has allowed me to spend time with her, see and celebrate the strengths God has gifted her in, build her up to use them in ministry, and love her like Jesus does.
It’s amazing looking back and seeing how God had planned everything to protect me from ruining a beautiful friendship. How He organised last month to help me recognise my jealousy issue, be open to admit them, be willing to listen to advice, be able to practice how to love, encourage, build and celebrate the strengths God has given my team mates, and ultimately see them like He does.
Learning more about who Jesus is from the bible makes me want to grow more into the person He wants me to become. But recognising how far off I really am, makes me realise how much I need God and how thankful I am that He continues to love me unconditionally. He gives me grace and forgiveness, and continues to choose to use me, despite my imperfection and failures, to further His kingdom.
Jealously is a horrible thing “for where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16)and can prevent people from making amazing friendships. I received a letter from that individual at the end of the month that made me aware of how jealously truly affects relationships – “If I’m being honest, I was a little nervous about being on your team for the month. I still wasn’t a hundred percent sure of how you felt about me but I was hopeful that this month would help me get out of my head and that we could get to know each other.” So to recognise your jealousy early on, pray about it, seek advice, spend time getting to know the individual and choosing to see and celebrate her gifts as God-given gifts, you may able start a beautiful friendship that you thought could never exist AND work with that individual to spread the love of Jesus to even more people.
Is there anyone you are jealous of? Is that preventing you from being friends with them? I encourage you to overcome your jealously and make an effort to get to know them. You may be surprised what you will find and what can come out from it. I am so thankful to God for using Christa Hutchinson to teach me this lesson on jealousy, and I’m so excited to see this friendship and other friendships blossom more into many more beautiful friendships.
