Shocked? Surprised? Appalled? Repulsed? Encouraged? Dismayed? Disappointed? Disgusted? I don’t know how this knowledge makes you feel or how you view me right now, but it’s true – I’m 26-years-old. I’m not married. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ve never been kissed. For a long time, admitting this to all of you would have been very embarrassing. I use to compare myself with others and question my ability to be loved and desired. But after all these years, I think God’s revealed his purpose for why He’s made me wait all these years.
My mum once told me that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I never understood why she would say that at the age of twenty-four. Being on the world race has made me open my eyes to notice the many ungodly qualities and characteristics in my life that I need God’s forgiveness, grace and strength to change in me. Every day I realise how imperfect and unlike Jesus I am, and every day I’m amazed by how Jesus grew up to be the man that He is and how I desire to be more like him. When I notice all these horrible things about myself, it makes me so glad that I haven’t found a partner yet, as I don’t want him to suffer and deal with those issues in my life that I haven’t dealt with or have acknowledged were there. A quote I read recently said, “It’s not about finding the right partner…it’s about being the right partner.” I want to be a woman who is after God’s own heart and can grow more in love with Jesus with her boyfriend. A wife that strives to have Christlike characteristics and wisdom in order to support, challenge and encourage her future husband. A mother who is a great example of Jesus to her children and is vulnerable and humble enough to admit that she is wrong and needs help. If I had a partner before this age, I would have been terrible, but praise the Lord, he’s been moulding and shaping me throughout these years.
This month, working with Zehandi Missions where our ministries include gardening, child-minding, panting walls, home-schooling, playing with pre-schoolers, walking dogs and cooking, I’ve come to realise how unprepared I am to be a mum or a housewife. Being actively involved in these ministries, and observing and accepting advice from my ministry contact and squad/team mates have allowed me to learn how to do these tasks well. Even though some people disregard these roles as ministry, I am so thankful that we have had the opportunity to do them as it has allowed me to appreciate dogs and cats as human companions; notice and appreciate the hard work it is to be a mother but how much of a blessing it is to see your babies grow into mini-human beings. I’ve enjoyed learning different and simple techniques to gardening and painting your own walls; the enjoyment of volunteering at a local preschool, and Jesus’ patience and servant heart you need to work with a community of women.
I have learnt all these skills and character growth in these season in my life to help me with whatever my future holds. Whether it is to help or prepare me for a partner or not, I’m glad to be learning these skills, developing my character and trusting that wherever God takes me in the future, it’ll be perfect. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.”
How are you going right now? Are you feeling unworthy because you’re still single? I just want to encourage you to enjoy this time of growth and this season where God can shape you more into the woman or man He has created you to be. He most certainly has a great plan for your life. Believe in it; trust in it and know that wherever God takes you or whoever He may bring alongside of you, it’s going to be perfect!
