“I’m at the end of me and the beginning of God”- Kelly O’bar, founding member team LESS
When Kelly wrote this in her blog announcing her decision to leave the race it really struck me. Beautifully worded and a great summary of what keeps showing up in my thought processes as we start out this year. What does ending “me” look like? In these posts are a few of the things that got me thinking about this process of replacing “me,” in all my selfishness and pride, with God in all his majesty.
Squirrels nest 1- Sarah 0
During the first week of training we got to go to the Squirrels Nest in Unicoi State park (Georgia) for a spiritual retreat. It was the same place we went in April, only it was in the 70s at night not the 30s. Around dinner time I headed up to our bunk to grab shampoo. I was headed across the bunk focused on my gear. I had just zoned in on the shampoo when I SMACKED my head into one of the beams under our slanted roof. I bit my tongue and hit the deck. Betty (one of our coaches) was the lucky one in the shelter with me trying to console me as I sat on the floor sobbing, too tired from several nights camping out to get myself back under control. Eventually I made my way down the stairs to deliver the shampoo and met my friends with a mixture of crying and laughing (one in the same at this point).
A staff member went to get me Advil. While she was gone her husband came up and assessed the situation. Within in 30 seconds he has people laying hands on me and praying for my injuries asked if anyone had prayed. When he finished, my head felt 1000 times better. In fact, I didn’t think about the pain again. It was something insignificant. I’m not graceful; these things tend to happen to me. But, I was healed from this ensuing monster headache and all we had to do was ask. When I thanked him later for praying for me he just said “No problem, don’t forget to “Be quick to pray.””
Historically, for me prayer is usually a last resort. I am a self sufficient person. I don’t like to “bother” God with things I can handle. I know from the bible that He knows how many hairs are on my head, he knew me before we were born, he has numbered my steps. But I pretend he doesn’t care about the day to day happenings in my life. It really isn’t about not wanting to bother him, it’s about the pride I feel when “I” solved a problem or made a good decision. Letting go of “me” means I have to stop trying to solve my own problems and start going to Him for everything. He is a God of details, especially the ones I can handle.
“Pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” Ephesians 6:18
