I experienced a bit of culture shock when I arrived at my team’s location in Vietnam two days ago… reverse culture shock, that is.
Last month, we slept in our tents, took bucket showers, and used a squatty potty. We didn’t have access to wifi. It became normal to eat our meals with dogs, chickens, and ducks walking around our feet. Children (adorable children) with rotting teeth were always around us, desperate for our attention. We washed our dishes with rain water. It was hot, it was messy, but it was beautiful. It was exactly what I pictured when I used to daydream about the race.
I must admit, I expected the same living conditions during our month in Vietnam; but boy was I wrong! As our taxi driver took us closer to the neighborhood we would be living and working in, our surroundings began to strangely resemble… Miami. Large streets with palm tree-lined medians led us past white high-rise apartment buildings. Brand new malls and cinemas flashed before our eyes. And when we got to our hotel, we realized that the houses around us were exquisite in their design, with intricate iron gates at their driveway, blocking the Porsches behind them.
Uh, am I on the World Race still? Is this really Vietnam, or are we spending this month in Southern Florida? We are sleeping in beds with fluffy pillows and down comforters. We have flat screen TV’s in our rooms, showers, wifi… oh, and the Gap is about a mile down the road.
When I left America to come on the race, I left behind my comfortable lifestyle and my possessions. I left my job in pharmaceutical research, my apartment and its perfectly matching decorations, my wardrobe, and my need to always want more. I walked away from my “secure” life for an adventure that the Lord was calling me on.
At the markets in Thailand, it was easy for me to walk away from cheaply made clothing and trinkets that would fall apart in only a matter of time. In Cambodia, the most exciting thing I could buy in the village was a Coca-Cola. But when we walked into the mall in Vietnam, the dark whisper of discontent began to speak to me: I am so under-dressed. I need another shirt to wear, and maybe something that isn’t a cotton v-neck. Maybe I could buy some more makeup while I’m here, too. I want to look cute again.
We got back to our hotel after our mall trip (I stopped myself from purchasing anything), and what was the first thing I did? I logged on to the wifi like it was nobody’s business so that I could check my Instagram. And when we get down to the heart of things, what do we use Instagram for? Come on, now. Most of the pictures we post (not all, but most) are trying to make our lives look more glamorous than they really are. The pictures say, look where I am; look what I’m doing. Look at how my breakfast is so much more interesting than yours! Is this really what we have come to in order to make ourselves feel important? Making my pancakes look more artsy than your pancakes?
For the past few months, I’ve been learning to let go of not only my possessions, but also my desire to constantly improve my “image”. It no longer mattered to me if I wore the latest style of clothing or if I wore any makeup at all. I was learning what it meant to be comfortable with the things that I had, with the skin that I’m in. I’ve even taken a step back from social media, really wondering what my goal for each post was: was it to bring attention to myself, or to glorify the Lord?
Now that I have access to so many modern amenities and comforts of home, it is tempting to give in once again to the lifestyle I walked away from. It is so tempting to want to seek approval from humans rather than God. So, this month is going to be challenging for me. If my teammates are all going shopping and I join in, it will take some serious will-power to not spend my money on material things. When I wake up in the morning, I will need to fight the battle to pick up my Bible instead of my computer.
But what must I cling to? The fact that Jesus thinks I am perfect and beautiful just the way I am. The fact that my teammates love me no matter what I wear. The fact that I am on the World Race to serve God and his people, not to sport this season’s newest trend or post the most interesting picture on Instagram.
I don’t want to fall captive to the painstakingly true statement that Henri Nouwen made: “One of the tragedies of our life is that we keep forgetting who we are”. I am a beloved daughter of the King, and may I never forget WHO my value, worth, and approval comes from… no matter where in the world I am.
