As of yesterday, I am officially car-less.
So what, right? Many of us didn't have cars on campus in college, and even many people in the city survive just fine without them. I have to admit, though, that when I found out yesterday that I'd be selling my Honda for a whopping $250 because of its condition, I had that sinking feeling in my gut like my dog just died. Having a car in the city has given me the freedom to go wherever I want, whenever I want. And yesterday, that freedom felt like it was aggressively ripped away from me. I felt helpless and trapped.
The heartache in my soul over a CAR just goes to show how much I depend on my posessions to make me feel whole. Even though I tell myelf that Jesus is all I need to feel complete, it seems as if I still have a ways to go. So as much as this situation kind of sucks, I think it was a God thing. I really believe that this is one of his ways of preparing me for The World Race; by giving up a little piece of my "freedom" and dependency on stuff. Because let's be honest, I will have to surrender my freedom and give up control on the race. I won't be able to go anywhere I want, whenever I desire. The only possessions I'll have for 11 months straight will be able to fit in a backpack. So as weird as it may seem, I think that by saying goodbye to owning a car, the Lord is somehow preparing my heart for the journey to come.
The good news is: there's a bus stop at the end of my street. I can walk to work AND my church/internship, because both are only a mile away from my apartment. And finally, at least 10 people have offered to lend me their cars when needed, and are willing to give me rides around town. What a blessing!!
Do you (like me), believe that you are turning away from everything you hold near and dear to your heart in order to run towards Jesus, but deep down still cling on to other things that you "need"? Are you willing to go through the process of really giving those things up? A simple, yet POWERFUL verse in Luke 5 reminds me of this "So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him." The fishermen that Jesus was calling to be his disciples didn't leave everything except their boat. They didn't leave everything except the fish they caught. They didn't leave everything except their wallet with some spare change, family pictures, and credit cards. (Okay, that one was a stretch, but you get what I'm saying).
When we start peeling back the layers and giving up the things we didn't realize we were clinging to, we will be showered with blessings from the Lord. So right about now, I find myself asking: what does it really look like to give up EVERYTHING to follow Jesus?
