I look forward to sharing with everyone what happened at training camp, but right now I just need to share what the Lord has already accomplished on my first day back from training camp because it’s incredible.
Before departure from training camp in the clay-covered Gainesville, Georgia, I invited some sQadmates to stop at my place Saturday evening to decompress, enjoy one another’s presence, sleep at my place, and attend church with me the next morning.
Bridget, Jessica, Elise, Liz and I arrived in Maryville, Tennessee at my apartment in the afternoon and all got to take a warm shower, use flushing toilets and drink hot tea for the first time in what felt like years. I’m honestly shocked my bathtub isn’t stained red from all the clay we accumulated at camp. Once we all were clean, we went to Kroger, bought a community dinner (great practice!), and ate picnic style in my living room. After thanking the Lord for bringing us together and sustaining us, we began sharing our stories.
I won’t share what they talked about because I think everyone’s story is their own to tell, but by the time I shared my story, Jessica and Liz had passed out while Bridget and Elise forced their eyes open. I told them the usual testimony that I usually tell people, but the Holy Spirit prompted me to tell them a little more than I usually do. I told them parts that seemed inconsequential to tell everyone; such as the time I almost applied for a job at Compassion International right after graduating college, but didn’t due to various circumstances in that season of my life. The Holy Spirit prompted Elise to ask me if I had forgiven myself for not applying there, and I realized that I haven’t.
Then she asked if I had asked God to return my memories. (If that confuses you, feel free to message me. I’d love to share my testimony with you.)
My eyes opened wider in the silence, and she winked in response. I slowly shook my head. “No,” I said, “I haven’t.”
The Holy Spirit responded through my sister, Elise, “Are you scared to be alone because you think about the memories you lost?”
My eyes got even bigger, “I never told you about how I’m terrified of being alone. I get insanely depressed if I’m alone.”
“Do you want those memories back?” She asked.
I felt the thick silence swallow me whole, and spit me out in front of Elise and Bridget. Their smiles grew as they watched God break my heart and pour in His love. Through the tears I said what the Holy Spirit was telling me:
I don’t want to remember my freshmen year. God won’t let me have my childhood memories because I refuse to accept everything I did that year. I know it was horrible and I know I’m forgiven, but that doesn’t mean I want to have the vivid images of all the shameful things I did. I can’t have years of memories because I refuse to accept three months of my life.
After letting me soak in the Lord’s teaching, Elise said, “Ask God to return those memories, and when He does, ask Him to show you where He was in each situation. You are seen, and you do a good job of seeing others.”
We all learned from one another’s stories and began understanding why God has brought us together. Through encouragement and spiritual wisdom, we helped each other through our rough parts.
At some point, Bridget mentioned how she had been praying for divine encounters, and Elise talked about how much she loved doing that. I looked from Bridget to Elise in a little confusion and Elise asked, “Have you never done that?”
My first thought was to lie and tell them that “of course I have!” because I must be a bad Christian if I haven’t; however, after internally telling the enemy that he’s a liar, and using the boldness of the Holy Spirit, I shrugged and said, “Nope.”
“WHAT?!” Elise squealed and Bridget giggled. They were both so giddy to share this with me and strengthen my walk with Christ. They both gave me examples of how they have received divine encounters after asking God for it, and both encouraged me to do so.
Once we had exhausted ourselves to the point of nonsense, we decided we should get some sleep before church the next morning. In the morning, I led the three-car, thirty-minute drive to church, and got to have alone time for the first time in about two weeks. As my head filled with worry that we would get to church late, I thought about what I would title my blog post about training camp, and the word “extraordinary” popped in my head. I played around with it, and decided on “God put extra in my ordinary.” My morning prayer also included, “Lord, you have prompted me through my squadmate sisters to ask you for divine encounters. I don’t know what that will entail, but Lord, give us some divine encounters today, and help us to pursue you through those.”
We walked in the doors to Northstar right as the service was beginning, and immediately ran into the lead pastor, Scott. (I had been worried about arriving late, but God’s timing is ALWAYS perfect. Maybe I’ll learn some day.) I said, “Hi! These girls are some of the people I’m going with on the World Race!” We all said “hi” and went to find seats. We worshiped, and then sat down for the sermon which began with a clip from “The Dead Poets Society” where Robin Williams is teaching his class on “Carpe Diem—Seize the Day.” The screen then changed to the title of series Northstar is doing this week, which is that word the Lord placed on my heart in the car on the way there: “EXTRAordinary.” I can’t even make this stuff up.
The sermon spoke to each of us to varying degrees. One part of the sermon was about when the Jesus and the disciples encounter a man wrestling a legion (about 600) of demons. The demons have turned the man insane and driven him away from everyone. They confront Jesus saying, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God?” (Mark 5:7) Let’s talk about that question. Demons are asking Jesus what He wants to do with them, yet many of us don’t feel worthy enough to ask him that ourselves. The demons then beg Jesus to send them into the pigs on the neighboring hillside, and Jesus “gave them permission. (Mark 5:13)” Excuse me? Demons can’t touch a child of God without first getting permission? RIGHT. I KNEW THAT. We all wrote that one down as we reflected on all the demons we had been wrestling with at training camp.
After the sermon, we began reflection worship time as usual, but Scott stood up at the front after only one song, and said, “I feel led to share something with everyone. They don’t know I’m going to do this, but our Northstar sister Sarah has brought some special friends with her this morning that I would like you all to meet. Please come up here, ladies.” We all nervously looked at each other and couldn’t believe what was happening. He continued to tell everyone about how we will be going on the World Race in January and asked everyone to continue worshiping and come lay hands on us and pray over us.
The Holy Spirit moved in my church and they encircled us and prayed, speaking life and strength into us. Personally, I was asked to let go of some things holding me back. Many prayed for strength and safety, and one person slipped some cash into my hand.
I grinned as I felt the Holy Spirit wash over me, and heard Elise laughing in response to the Holy Spirit. We returned to our seats briefly until the end of the service. A woman approached us and said she was only visiting Northstar because she was babysitting, and she had just gotten back from the World Race! WOW! Her name is Hanna, and we decided to pray over her current season. Then a woman, very obviously shaking with the Holy Spirit, asked to pray over my sQuadmates and I. She screamed with the Holy Spirit inside of her and asked for unity and community amount us. She then laid her hands on Elise’s and my foreheads before feeling drawn to me. She cupped my face in her hands and spoke in tongues before saying the words, “Release the child within. There is a child that needs to be set free before you can discover who God is. Release the child to unlock the hidden parts of yourself. There are parts of your story hidden between only you and God, but it’s time for those parts to come out!” She spoke more in tongues and spoke life into me before grasping each one of us individually and prophesying exactly what the Holy Spirit needed us to hear. It was incredible. It’s not my place to tell you what each one of my sisters experienced, but it left each of us shaking.
We all thanked her, and she told us to thank the Holy Spirit and not her. We all hugged her and said goodbye and sat down in awe of everything that just happened. We kept talking about it on our way to the cars and decided to go to Chipotle for lunch before they headed back to their Northern homes.
During lunch God led us to discuss my severe anxiety of going to the doctor. I told them how I pass out and seize every time I see the doctor, and the Holy Spirit started moving in Elise again. She asked, “Do you ever take people to the doctor with you?”
“Yes of course,” I responded. “If I pass out, someone has to drive me home. I always take people because I usually pass out.”
“Do you ever feel alone?” The Holy Spirit makes Elise ask all the hard questions.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I feel pathetic. Who can’t contain her fear of something as simple as a doctor’s visit? I feel like no one else understands, and that I’m too weak to function as a normal human.”
She nodded and slowly smiled, then said, “Have you ever thought of God as your doctor? God is ‘the great physician,’ you know.”
“WOAH,” Bridget and I exclaimed as Elise winked.
Suddenly I couldn’t move. My feet felt heavy, and my head started spinning. It felt like something was around each of my ankles and I had to put my head down. My sisters asked if I was ok, and I had to ask them to give me a second because I was overwhelmed.
I began quietly, “Guys, if I start getting near a doctor’s office for an appointment, I start getting dizzy. When I’m around doctors, I constantly have to fight off passing out, and since God is always near me as ‘the great physician’, I feel incredibly dizzy right now.”
Elise looked up some scriptures for me, and this one stood out to me:
James 5:16
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
I then told them about what felt like bondage around my ankles, and Elise read Nahum 1:12-13:
12 “Thus says the Lord, ‘Though they are at full strength and many, they will be cut down and pass away. Though I have afflicted you, I will afflict you no more. 13 And now I will break his yoke from off you and will burst your bonds apart.”
“Sarah I believe you are free from that affliction,” Elise assured me. “The Lord wants to remove this burden. Go to the doctor alone next time, and ask the Lord to be there with you.”
When the Lord called me The World Race, my head knew that I would be radically changed through the process, but my heart didn’t know it yet. Now that the Holy Spirit has shattered my protective boundaries, I think my heart is finally starting to catch up with my head.
Thank you, Jesus, for not making my life easy. Continue to wreck me and fill me up with you. Thank you for my amazing sisters and sQuadmates. Your love rocked my world today and made my ordinary Sunday a lot spicier with all that EXTRA seasoning.
