In complete honesty, my time in the Philippines has probably been 0% of what I expected it to be. Yet somehow, God changed my views and shaped my time here to be exactly what I needed. God doesn’t give us what we want, He gives us what we need.
Here’s what I expected: Living life on the wild side as a Pacific Islander! Spend my time exploring, try what actual Asian food tastes like by eating bugs (aka NOT Panda Express), and climb the great wall of China if I had the time to visit. Mostly though, I expected to have a full teaching schedule for ministry, and constantly be sharing God with the kids.
Reality: Days with a very set schedule. Exploring limited to local malls, daily cuisine being chicken with rice, and ministry as teaching a few classes to kids with limited English.
It’s hard when God throws things at you that you don’t want, especially when you think you know better (and I tend to think that I’m right a lot). But through each of the things that I thought I wanted, God has shown me He knows better by giving me something different.
In Albania, my team was doing every type of ministry you can think of. Our daily schedule was 10 full hours of everything, with a slight lunch break. We were spread so thin we hardly had time to sit as a team and talk about our days. We cooked our own meals and had the freedom to leave whenever we wanted. It seemed great to be this busy, which is why I expected it to be the same in the Philippines.
When we arrived here and found out how different this country was going to be, you can imagine my disappointment. However, God knew what I needed my time to be here about and He most certainly gave me His plan instead of mine- and I am forever grateful!
I now see why my life has been so simplified. Looking back in Albania, the adventure and daily chaos took away from all reflection time. I hardly read my Bible as much as I should have, we weren’t able to stretch ourselves in community as a team, and most importantly we weren’t able to dive into select relationships like the Lord calls us to do.
Here, without the distractions of adventure and being a “free” 18 year old in a foreign country, God has reminded me what I set out to do by giving me one specific thing to focus on. I did not come on the race to eat bugs or sit on the beach every day. I did not come here to decide what my ministry should look like. Now, I see how wrong I was coming in with preexisting ideas of what I thought I should be doing.
By removing the distractions, God gave me a full opportunity to invest fully in Him and the people around me more every day. From this, I have learned what it means to come to Him each day with any doubts or fears that I have. I have learned what it means to live in a community where we hold ourselves to the same standard God does, and to invest in each other daily by encouragements. Most importantly, I have learned why God placed me here: to listen.
Without side noises, hearing God’s voice becomes much clearer. Each day I spend time with the Lord, God tells me more about myself and who he calls me to be. He has told me how to be gracious, how to become as a living sacrifice, and how to follow Him when others tell you to do else wise. God has shown me the importance of loving people like He does, and how to live each day for Christ.
God has also revealed to me the importance of listening to others. I came on the race pretty headstrong. Like I said earlier, I like to think I’m right a lot. But, by taking the time I’ve had here to really invest in my team and the children, I have learned how important it is to just listen.
In my team, we have taken time to completely dive into each other and invest. We have become a very encouraging group, and take the time to call things out in each other when we are not acting as who Christ calls us to be. By having so much quality time with them, I have learned more about my new “sisters” than I have with people whom I spent the last 12 years of my life knowing. They have amazing wisdom, and I love having a support group whom I can trust with anything. Needless to say, I have made friends for life.
Interestingly enough, with the students I spend every day with, teaching is hardly my ministry. Again, it has become the art of listening to the stories that they don’t have anyone else to tell to. I thought my time would be spent with me sharing the Gospel with them, but instead it has been them opening up about the hardships in their lives, and just needing a safe person to talk to. Listening to them has not only helped them, it has helped me. They have shown me how much deeper hurt goes than what it looks from the outside, and to always keep an open heart when meeting new people. Their stories have inspired me to turn to God with everything I do, and how important it is to keep investing in each other.
I love what the Lord has taken my time here to do with me. No, it wasn’t what I expected. It was better. I have had the most introspective time to work on myself more than I have at any other point in my life, but more so, I have learned the importance of listening, to both the Lord and others. God puts people in our lives to shape us and change our hearts, and He most certainly has done that here for me. By removing the distractions of what I thought I wanted, God gave me something so much more valuable- time spent listening.
Side notes:
I leave for South Africa on January 31st!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will be getting a new team for this last country, so please be praying for me and an easy transition. It won’t be easy leaving the people I have spent the last 6 months with.
That all being said, I only have 3 months left on my race. Can’t wait to see you all!
