I Am.

I am not intended to do this.

I am not spiritually fit to be here.

I am not equipped to be gone this long.

I am not who I think I am.

I am who he says I am.

 

There have been so many times on the race where I feel unequipped to be here. Where I am not sure where I though I could do this. Many times I do not feel emotionally strong enough for all that I am learning. This is a lot tougher than I thought it would be. The World Race says that most people go through brokeness about month 3 or 4. When those months passed for me I thought I overcomes the brokeness and would be in the clear. I am wrong. It is almost the end of month 5 and I have almost hit it. I think about home more often than I normally did in the past. I used to never think about home because I lived about 2 hours way the past six years. I could go home anytime that I wanted. I would always want to live overseas but it was never the time and God did not call me to do that. I was running away from a person that I was becoming and hated. Wanting to start over and not look back. God's starting over for me was not the starting over that I had planned for myself. I was just planning on moving to another state. God uprooted me out of america to live in 11 countries in 11 months. Whew! He took me from where I had come from, what I knew and what I was comfortable with. I am currently in Banaglore, India working with YWAM (mostly working with orphans and homeless ministries).

 

Ephesians 1:11-12" In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory"

 

After being prayerful about the next season of my life, God is continuing to show me  and put me at ease with his comfort about my decision. I am not supposed to move back to Nashville. (Sorry friends in Nashville) I am called to finish grad school when I get home. What I am supposed to do after grad school I do not know yet but I know his calling will be for the best and his ultimate plan for my life. I am not called to be with family and new friends in Chattanooga. This journey has taught me how important these things are and God has called me to take advantage of this opportunity. It is time for a new start in a place that my parents call home. Even though I have been back and forth I now consider Chattanooga my new home once I arrive.

 

I am chosen.

I am chosen to stay.

I am chosen to conquer my fears.

I am chosen to share the Gospel to the nations.

 

God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.

Meaning it is God doing the work and not me. I will depend on God for the substance to my calling.

 

Moses stuttered.

Abraham was too old.

Noah got drunk.

Isaiah preached naked.

Peter denied Christ.

Lazarus was dead…..

…. I am a sinner of all sorts.

The next time you feel like God did not make you for a purpose be reminded like I am.

 

They all followed the call. Sometimes we feel small and unequipped because of fear and lack of boldness. I have death with all of that on the race. To have faith as big as a mustard seed you can move mountains through Christ. 

 

Romans 11:29 " For God's gifts and his call are irrevocable."

 

Roman's 8:28 " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

 

I am here.

I have been sent.

I am listening.

I am called.

I was predestined by God.

 

Whatever God has called you to do than you were predestined just like me to do it. Do not loose faith or hope in yourself. You are in this position for a reason. Do not give up on what could be the best season of your life.