I have been in Malaysia for a week now today. This has been one of the longest weeks of my life. And I commited to do this for 11 months. I will not say this is easy. I will not say this is the hardest thing I will have to do. But, I am tired. I am hungry due to most of the things I can not eat. Im fully exhausted. I need sleep. There are so many things I took for granted in the states.
God knows that and he is fully holding on to me. He wants me to give him my best. Meaning the best time of the day, the best attitude I have and the best person that I can be. Looking back on how I have spent my week I can say I haven't given him my best. That is really difficult for me to say and to swallow.
I thought I was giving God my best but I wasn't. Due to sleeping on a pad with a sleeping bag and tossing and turning at night I wanted more sleep. I wanted to do one ministry more than another one. I wanted to sleep in at times when ministry needed to start. Also, having to deal with sparse internet, squatty pottys, and being around people 24/7. That is the World Race for you. I do not need any of this. It is something that I wanted.
What I am doing here makes all the negatives so tiny to me.
Watching someone of the street smile because you talked to them and showed them love.
Teaching women how to make jewelry so that they can earn an income.
Feeding the homeless community on the street which may be the last meal they see until who knows when.
Hanging out at a home with some girls who have blessed me more than words can say.
Walking down the street praying for every person you meet.
Making ballon animals for small children when they have never seen one before. Priceless.
Those are just some of the things I have been doing here in Malaysia. I can not wait to share everything with you!!
I would not be here without God.
It's not about what you want. Our wants at times are so skewed and we like to manipulate what we should really be doing even though we do not want to. Why is it so hard for us to give God our best? Why do we fall into the cracks of being selfish and blocking out what we moraly know is right and wrong? Because we are human. But that does not justify why it is so hard.
While doing a devotion on this topic I have learned to seek God in every decision you make. Give him the best time of your day rather it be in the morning, mid day or at night for you. Clear your minds of all negatively and unwanted thoughts. God needs to be the priority in everything that you do. On the World Race I have learned that to make it through this journey you will need to seek him throughout the entire day. Pray about the people, the decisions you make and the ministry you are doing. Do not focus on the other racers around you and how they respond to certain situations. Everyone is different but we should all have one common goal. That is pray and seek God first in everything that we do.
If you can go to bed at night knowing you honestly gave God your 100% best and nothing else you are living your life to the fullest.
Ezekial 20:40 says that we should bring the Lord our first fruits, the choicest selections of all our offerings.
