My first week home has been…great, weird, hard, different…filled with love.
I was blown away by the response I received upon returning to church. My heart swelled learning how many people have missed me and are thrilled to have me home. They all are disappointed for me that I had to come home early, but so happy to have me back. This has been my feeling as well.
God has certainly made it clear that I am to be here, safe, healthy and loved. I have been adjusting well, falling back into place with family and friends and with kidWorship. I had no intentions of returning to serve in our kidMinistry, but less than a week went by and one of my BFFs has lovingly persuaded me to rejoin her at a service on Saturday night. My heart belongs to kidWorship…it’s my gift.
So I have been good. I have been feeling…good. Until tonight. Tonight I spent some time on Facebook, looking at pictures of my squad, my team, and reading their posts about the upcoming travel days. Now, not that I was ever a huge fan of the travel days: lugging my huge pack around, lack of sleep, small spaces…but I broke down tonight. I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT THE RACE!! I want to be there, not here. I want to be traveling with my team. I just want to be with my team. I miss them so much. Tonight I can’t stop the tears from flowing. I know God has great plans for me here at home, but tonight, I want the Race.
My heart is unsettled. Torn between following God’s plan and missing what I thought was God’s plan. Tonight, I am a bit broken hearted over what God has brought me into, but when He throws me a curve ball, it’s time to step up and swing. So while I am depressed tonight, tomorrow is a new day. So until tomorrow, keep me in your prayers. Thank you God, for challenging me every step of the way!
